


A Bartered Soul

by YukiRiikus_Reading_Room



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bromance, Cross-Generational Friendship, Daddy Issues, Dealfic, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Familial Abuse, Family Feels, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Revenge, Teenage Winchesters, Young Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-05 13:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiRiikus_Reading_Room/pseuds/YukiRiikus_Reading_Room
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even at sixteen, Sam knew his father would give anything to find a way to avenger Mary's death - he just didn't expect to be the bartering chip.  When John trades his son to a mysterious figure to get his hands on the Colt, Sam has no choice but to find a way to get used to the idea - after all, Gabriel isn't so bad, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Deal is Struck

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Troquer son âme](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835668) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)



> Written on the requested prompt: John makes a deal with a trickster, knowingly or not. Gabriel takes his younger son as payment. (But not underage sex. I'm more interested in the relationship dynamics between everyone than sex anyway, and underage just squicks me.) 
> 
> Hope you like it! More to come soon :)

All his life, Sam Winchester was watched over by his father and older brother.  Ever since his mother had been killed in the ceiling fire, he’d been trained to protect himself and taught that above all else you look out for family.  His father lived to avenger their mother, and to teach his sons to protect each other and the rest of the world from the things that lurked in the dark. 

And yet that vengeance was why he currently found himself chained to a tree.  So much for ‘family comes first’.

“Dad, please don’t do this.  There has to be another way!”  Sammy begged, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he watched his father turn away from him ignoring his pleas.  He knew if Dean were here, he wouldn’t let this happen.  No matter how obedient he was to their father, he’d been taking care of Sam since he was child so much that it had become second nature to think of his safety first.  No wonder Dad had insisted on leaving him back at the motel.  “Please don’t do this!”

“Stop wailing before someone hears you and comes looking.  What a load of unnecessary trouble that would be.”  John grumbled, Sam wincing at the hard edge in his father’s voice.  Sure, he’d never thought his Dad was the cuddly type, but this?  This was cold even for him.  Sam opened his mouth to start guilting him again, hoping it would wear his father down so that he might let him go, but John anticipated it.  Pulling a bandana out of his pocket he gagged his son with it, tying the ends behind his head.  “This is the way things have to be son.  One day, maybe you’ll understand that.”

Sam looked up at his father with wide, sad eyes. 

“Don’t look at me like I’m the bad guy here, you don’t understand.”  John said gruffly, his voice clearly conflicted.  Looking away from his son he sighed, running a hand through his hair.  “You don’t understand Sammy.  Ever since your mother died… things have been hard.  I’m getting tired, and I don’t know how much more I can do this.  I made a deal to get ahold of something that can help us, that can end this.  Something that can help me avenge your mother.”

“And in return you promised me one of your sons.”

Sam stiffened, jerking his head from side to side trying to see around his father.  John stepped back, shielding his son even father from view.  If he’d been able to speak without being choked on fear and his father’s bandana, Sam would have pointed out his father’s hypocrisy in his sudden concern.

Once again, Sam wished his brother was there to save him.

“Look, no point in hiding him now.  You made a deal.  If you want the Colt to avenge your wife’s death, then give me the son you promised me and go.”  John hesitated at the man’s words, but ultimately moved out of the way.  Sam watched warily as the other man step forward, the shadows and his hat blocking his face from view.  Reaching into his coat pocket he drew out a gun wrapped in a cloth, holding it out for John to take.   “Remember, by taking this you’re giving up your right to your son.  And no thinking about trying to gun me down with this as soon as I give it to you either – like I said before, I’m one of the few things this can’t kill.  If you’re still alright with this arrangement, then take it.” 

When his father turned away to look down at him, Sam was sure that he would turn the offer down, that he’d seen how terrible the deal really was.  Reaching out John ruffled his son’s hair gently, a sad smile on his face.  Sam had always believed the best of his father, even when Dean didn’t.  His father might have missed a few Christmases, many even a few birthdays or forgotten a few

And then he turned and took the gun.  As the chains fell away from around him, Sam briefly considered running to his father, but knew it wouldn’t matter – he’d already been left behind, and his father was never going to try and keep him safe again.  The last glance Sam got of his father before the strange grabbed his arm and teleported them away was of his father lovingly touching the barrel of the gun he’d just bought with his younger son’s freedom.

They’d barely rematerialized in a new location in doors before Sam, exhausted and emotionally bereft, slipped unconscious.

 

******

 

Still groggy, Sam rolled over in the bed confused to find it so empty.  Usually he woke up first and got the coffee going so that it’d be ready with Dean finally rolled out of bed.  Opening his eyes, Sam glanced around.  It only took him about three seconds to realize he wasn’t in the motel.

And to remember that his father had sold him for a gun.

Sitting up he pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to fight back tears.  He was rather gangly and gawky for a sixteen year old boy, and already as tall if not taller than his older brother.  Looking at the mirror over the dresser on the wall across from the foot of the bed, he was surprised at how childish and small he looked in the huge bed, practically swimming in the large pajamas he had no memory of putting on. 

“Oh, you’re finally awake.”

Sam swallowed against the fear in his stomach as he looked up at the stranger leaning against the doorframe watching him.

“Before you ask, no, I didn’t change you.”  The strange smiled, snapping his fingers.  When Sam looked down, it was to find himself in the same clothes he’d been wearing the day before.  “I’m not some pervert, I promise.”

“Then why did you ask for me in return for that gun?”  Sam asked, fiddling with the edge of his jacket.  The stranger had the decency to look affronted, pulling a sucker out of his jacket pocket.  Sam watched him unwrap it, a bit surprised when he popped it into his mouth.

“I didn’t.”  Sighing he strode into the room.  He was careful to keep his distance, something Sam was very grateful of.  Sammy watched suspiciously as he dropped into the chair by the window, not trusting him for a second.  He’d just been sold out by his father, he knew that, but that didn’t mean he had to trust this person’s story.  “When your father found me looking for the Colt, he asked what I would trade for it.  I told him that other than a constant companion, I had everything I could ever want.  So he offered to give me one of his sons in return.” 

“That… actually sounds like something Dad would do, if it meant avenging Mom.”  Sam said.  Looking down at his knees he took a deep breath, afraid to ask the question burning into his brain but needing to know the answer.  “Can that gun actually kill the demon that killed my Mom?” 

“Yes.  One bullet to the chest or head, and Azazel will die.”  He said mater of factly, a small smile on his face.  “Does that actually change how you feel about this situation?”

“Mostly just curious, but… I guess it does, a little.  At least Dad might finally find peace.  I just wish he’d found a way to do it without selling me off in the process.”  Sam said honestly, a little surprised to see the amused look on the other man’s face.  “I’m still not sure you aren’t a perv though.  I mean, you did receive a teenager in a trade.”

“Yes, but I didn’t ask for you specifically if that makes you feel any better.”  He grinned, licking his sucker.

“True, but you didn’t turn down his offer either.”  Sam countered, smiling despite himself. 

“I guess you’ve got me there Sammy.”  He said, raising an eyebrow when the teenager frowned.  “Family nickname huh?  I’ll stick to something else then, if it would make you more comfortable.”

“I’d appreciate that.”  Sam said, tossing his bangs out of his eyes.  “So… I guess I live here now, right?”

“That’s the general idea, yeah.  I got this room ready for you after I talked to your Dad, but I didn’t know what you’d want so I just left it white for now.”  He said softly, standing to leave.  As he strode over to the door, Sam noticed something he wasn’t sure he believed: that this man felt just as awkward about the whole situation as he did.  He might have said he wanted a companion, but clearly he was just as thrown by the whole situation as he was.  Sam wasn’t sure why, but it made him feel a little better.  Maybe this guy was telling him the truth after all – not that he was going to just up and believe him without proof.  That sort of trust would take time.  “I’m sure you’ve got a lot to think about, so I’ll leave you be for now.  If you get hungry the kitchen is just down the hall, and if you have any questions for me or need anything I’ll be in my office two doors down from here.”

“Can you at least tell me your name?”  Sam asked.  The stranger turned, tucking his hair behind his ears as he smiled.

“It’s Gabriel, but you can call me Gabe.” 


	2. Small Treasures

Even though Gabriel had seemed pleasant enough, Sam didn’t feel safe enough to leave the room he’d awoken.  The house was quiet, but every time he heard the floorboards down the hall creak he stiffened instinctually, his fists ready at his sides just in case.  His stomach grumbled angrily, a painful reminder that he hadn’t eaten dinner – and that his father had lured him out of the motel room under the pretense that they were getting burgers.  Every self-preservation instinct in his body told him to stay put.  Dean might have trained him to protect himself, but he wasn’t stupid – he knew he stood next to no chance against someone who could snap his fingers and get anything he wanted. 

More than feeling safe, Sam knew it meant he would most likely never be able to escape. 

Then again, did he really want to go back to his father?  John had traded him for a gun to avenge his dead wife – and while Sam understood that killing the yellow-eyed demon was Dad’s whole reason for hunting, but he’d also taught him that family came first.  Somehow Sam didn’t see how he could use his main goal to justify trading his life away. 

He missed Dean, mostly. 

Sam’s stomach twisted against at the thought of his brother.  He knew that, by now, Dad must have told Dean what had happened.  Dean was no doubt already blaming himself, probably yelling at their father and torturing himself with the thought that he should have been the one traded for the Colt.  He was nothing if not protective, and John wasn’t the type to lie to family, no matter what other failings he might have.  Sammy could only image how his brother must be feeling.

There was a knock at the door, Sam curling in around himself instinctively as the door opened.

“I figured you might be hungry by now.”  Gabe said with a weak smile plastered on his face.  Edging into the room he set the tray he was carrying down on the small table by the window seat he’d sat in when they first talked, nervously running a hand though his hair as Sam arched an eyebrow at the small mountain of food he’d brought.  “I don’t have much experience with teenage boys, but I’ve heard they’re pretty much bottomless pits.  That, and I didn’t know what you’d want, so I figured I should grab a bit of everything just to be on the safe side.” 

“Thanks.”  Sam said.  He didn’t move from his spot on the bed, watching as Gabriel shifted from foot to foot.  He was just about to open his mouth and say he wasn’t hungry when his stomach growled again, effectively shattering his lie before he could even say it. 

“It’s not poisoned, I swear.”  Gabe said gently, the edges of his lips turned up in a smile.  “That would be a little pointless, wouldn’t it?  Trade away a weapon of awesome power just to kill the boy I got in return?”

“I guess you’ve got a fair point there.”  Sam said, barely holding back a smile.  Sliding off the bed he approached the table cautiously, watching Gabriel out of the corner of his eye – he didn’t move, much to Sam’s relief, until after he’d taken his seat.  Snapping up another chair Gabriel sat down a few feet away, Sam raising an eyebrow at him as he pulled out another sucker and popped it into his mouth.  “Quite a sweet tooth you’ve got there.”

“When you’ve been around as long as I have, sugar starts to be one of the few things that still seems worth enjoying.”  Gabriel sighed, glancing down at his watch as Sam picked at a bowl of salad.  Standing Gabriel snapped himself into a bright red suit, brushing his hair out of his face.  “Welp, I doubt you really want me here watching you eat.  I’ll be back later.  If you get bored, I’ve programmed the TV in the den so you can watch me while I work.”

“And what exactly do you do for a living?”  Sam asked, blushing at the wide smile Gabriel shot him and immediately wishing he hadn’t asked.  Yeah, he would definitely be avoiding that TV station just in case.  Knowing his luck, Gabriel was a supernatural porn star.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking that’s got you making that face, but you’re probably wrong.”  Gabriel smirked.  “I’m a Trickster by trade, Sam.  It’s my job to shove a stick up the asses of all those out there that think they’re hot shit.  Now, any last questions before I go?”

“Do you have any books around here?”  Sam looked away, not wanting to see the customary look of surprise he often got when people realized he was a more of a nerd than he looked.  When he Gabriel didn’t answer, Sammy chanced looking up, more than a little shocked to see he didn’t seem surprised at all. 

“You’ll find all my books in my library across from the den. Down the hall on your right, you can’t miss it.”  Gabriel grinned.  “I feel like we’re having a nice Beauty and the Beast moment.  I give you free reign of my library and you learn to care about the freaky monster I am.  It’d be almost touching if it wasn’t so creepy.” 

“Hey, as long as you don’t expect me to wear a dress, I won’t complain.  Also, not singing with any furniture, that’s just weird.”  As Gabriel laughed and headed for the bedroom door, Sam could barely belief he’d dropped his guard long enough to make a joke.  “Not to be a pain, but…”

“Yes, you can call your brother.”  He said simply, turning to look at Sammy over his shoulder without a trace of humor left in his face.  Swallowing Sam fought to keep the tears back, nodding as Gabriel snapped his fingers.  A cell phone appeared on the dresser.

Turning away from him, Gabriel snapped again and disappeared.

He’d barely left before Sam was racing across the room for the phone, almost knocking over the floor lamp next to the dresser with his need to hear his brother’s voice.  Snapping the phone open he found only one number programmed into the phone – Dean’s.  Pressing the speed dial he held it to his ear, barely breathing as he counted the number of rings on the other end.

_“Hello?”_

Sam opened his mouth to speak as his brother’s voice washed over him but no sound came out, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.  Even though they’d just seen each other less than a day ago, with everything that had happened between then and now, it felt like they hadn’t spoken in years. 

_“Who is this?”_

“Dean, Dean it’s me.”  Sam said hurriedly, tripping over his words in excitement.

_“Sammy?  Holy shit, I never thought I’d hear from you again!”_

Sam sniffed, overwhelmed by the worry etched into his older brother’s voice.  Ever since they were little, they’d only really had each other.  Living life on the road like they had, they’d never really had to learn how to handle being apart from each other for longer than the length of a school day.  Now, Sammy realized with a choked sob, they might never see each other again.

_“Are you alright?”_

“Yeah, I’m okay.  Did… did Dad tell you where I am?”  Sam asked, swallowing at the agitated cursing his brother let out. 

_“Yeah, that bastard told me everything.  Showed me the gun too, acting all disappointed when I was excited about another fucking wild goose chase against old yellow eyes.  It was like he actually expected me to be happy he traded you for another fucking vengeance attempt.”_

“Knowing Dad, that’s exactly what he thought.”  Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair distractedly.  “Look, I know you’re angry at him but… don’t make things harder for yourself.  What’s done is done, and you know how Dad is.  Just… humor him a little longer and kill the thing that killed Mom so he can be done with this crazy mission once and for all, okay?”

_“I’m so sorry Sammy.  If I’d have known what he was planning… I should never have let him do this.”_

“There you go, blaming yourself again.  Typical Dean move.”  Sam said, smiling when his brother let out a watery chuckle on the other end of the line.  “There’s no way you could have known he was planning something this… terrible.  And if you had known, I know you would have found a way to stop it, so don’t beat yourself up over it.”

_“You know I’ll be doing just that until I get you back here where you belong.  Without you I won’t have anyone to bother when I get bored.”_

“I know.”  Sam said sadly, closing his eyes.  He knew there was no taking Dean out of this, that he would keep trying to find a way to get him home until he either found a way or died trying.  “I hope you find something.”

_“So… how are you calling me?  I figured you’d be on lock down in a basement somewhere while a creepy psycho drooled over you and petted your hair or something.”_

“Vivid imagery… unsettling, but vivid.”  Sam laughed, shaking his head.  “No, Gabriel – the man Dad gave me to for the gun – he seems like a nice enough guy so far.”

_“Yeah, I bet he’s a real sweetheart Sammy.  He just happened to accept a kid as payment for a demon killing weapon.  But you’re right; I bet he’s a real peach once you get to know him.”_

“At least I’m not chained up in a basement like you assumed I would be.”  Sam sighed.  “At least I got a phone so I can talk to you, right?”

_“Yeah… I guess there is that at least.”_

“Can you not tell Dad that I contacted you?”  Sam asked, not surprised in the least by his brother’s surprised intake on breath.  “I just… He sold me off Dean.  I don’t want to speak to him.  He probably doesn’t even care that I’m gone now that he’s found a way to kill the yellow-eyed demon.  But if you can get word to Uncle Bobby that I’m alright, I’d appreciate that.  Do you think he knows what Dad did yet?”

_“I highly doubt it.  Bobby would have kicked some sense into him and stopped this mess before it even started if he’d gotten wind of Dad’s shit plan.”_

“Yeah, Uncle Bob always was the smart one.”  Sam grinned, brushing the remaining tears clinging to his eyelashes away.

_“Shit. I can hear Dad coming.  I’ll… I try and call you back on this line the next time I can get some time alone.”_

Sam swallowed, closing his eyes when he heard the click on the other end of the line.  Taking a deep breath he set the phone back down on the dresser, staring at it for a few minutes before heading back over to the table by the window to appease his growling stomach.

Outside of the room from where he’d been listening, Gabriel took a deep breath before snapping himself away. 


	3. Away from the Windows

“Is that clown being beaten by paper horses? “

“Hello little brother, didn’t expect you to just drop in.”  Gabriel grinned, not bothering to look up as a man with ruffled black hair and a windswept trench coat dropped down next to him on the bench.  Gabriel reached into his pocket and pulled out two Twix bars, offering one to his companion who gingerly took it.  Across the park a haggard clown, hogtied with jump ropes, was trying to scream through a mouthful of suckers as three brightly colored piñatas beat him with bats.  “And yes, those would be piñatas.”

They fell silent, only the crinkling of their candy opening and the muffled clown’s screaming breaking the quiet calm of the park. 

“And what did this one do to deserve your particular brand of just deserts?”  Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow when his brother’s scowl deepened.

“He stole copious amounts of money from a charity function to help kids with cancer.  That and he’s just generally just a giant asshole to everyone, including the kids he performs for.  Worst clown I’ve ever seen.”  Gabriel sighed, giggling to himself as the clown stopped screaming and lost consciousness.  His smirk lessened slightly at the glare his brother shot him, the Trickster sighed, raising a hand to snap his fingers.  A few seconds after the piñatas and jump rope disappeared, the clown sat up looking really confused.  “There, I let him go.  Happy?”

“I can’t deny what you’re doing; you’re doing it for a reason, and a good one at that. I just wish we could work together again, that’s all.”  Castiel said softly.  Gabriel looked up in surprise, blinking as his brother stared evenly into his eyes, not a single trace of humor in his face.  “Do you remember that last battle, just before the Morningstar fell?”

“Of course I do.  My older brother was cast out of Heaven, and I was told I could never see him again.” Swallowing against the lump in his throat Gabriel looked away, not wanting to see the hurt in his younger brother’s face.  Standing up he shoved the empty Twix wrapper into his pocket.  “I should be getting home.”

“Gabriel, if I’ve offended you in some way…”

“No, it’s not that.”  He smiled softly, gently touching his brother’s shoulder.  “I… have someone staying with me, and should get back and make sure they’re alright.”  

“You never let the people you see romantically see your home; you must be serious about this one.”  Castiel grinned, raising an eyebrow when his brother laughed.

“It’s not like that at all Cas, not at all.  Sam… I got Sam as payment from a stupid hunter seeking revenge.”  Gabriel explained slowly, wincing at the furious look his brother shot him as he stood up.  He raised his hands defensively, his eyes pleading.  “Hey, it’s not like I  asked for a teenager!  And besides, I fully intended on showing up to the drop sight to give him the gun and let him keep his kid, but… Castiel, you should have seen it.  He’d chained his own son to a tree and shoved a dirty rag in his mouth.  There was no remorse in his face at all, no fear for his own child.  He was so focused on his own personal vendetta he didn’t care what the cost might be.  How could I let him keep his kid when I could tell how screwed up he’d grow to be with a father like that showing him how to live?”

“Oh Gabriel, you just want to save everyone, don’t you.”  Castiel said tenderly, affection clear in his tone.  “I’m proud of you.  It sounds like you’re really starting to grow up and accept some responsibility.”

“That’s rich coming from my little brother.  Weren’t you just a fledgling when Lucifer fell, barely able to lift a sword, let alone wield it?”  Gabriel joked, bumping his little brother’s shoulder with his.  “How about you come over for dinner tonight?  I’m sure the kid would like more company than just me.  And, you know, to have someone else to talk to that’s a little less crazy.” 

“So you just left him alone in your place?”  Cas asked, raising an eyebrow when his brother shrugged.  “That’s a big risk.  I bet you didn’t even remember to tell your guest not to open the windows under any circumstances, did you?”

“…Shit.”

 

******

 

Sam had a high tolerance for boredom.  He’d had to learn to live with it being dragged all over Hell’s half acre on his father’s hunts, getting left in motel after shitty motel with only the same three scratchy TV channels wherever they went and whatever paperback crap novel he could convince Dean to get him from the 7-11 down the road.  Occasionally he could convince his Dad to take him to a real bookstore, if he remembered his birthday or Christmas, but more often than not Sam just read whatever books he’d been able to amass over and over again until their spines all but fell apart.

He could deal with boredom.  Curiosity on the other hand…

It was hard to ignore the promise of a library just down the hall.  Sammy knew Dean would kick his ass for being so silly that he’d give up a defensible position just to try and find some reading material, but standing in the doorway to look up and down the hall, all he could think about were the warm smile Gabriel had flashed him when they talked and the fact that he’d given him a way to talk to Dean when Sammy had thought he’d never get to hear his brother’s voice again.  Gabriel seemed nice enough to trust, for now.  It was only a library, after all.

Creeping out into the hallway Sam padded quietly down the hallway keeping close to the wall.  He knew Gabriel had said he was going out, to ‘work’, but he still felt it was better to be cautious just in case.

When he opened the library door, a sense of great warm flooded over Sam. Stepping inside he sat down at the base of one of the bookshelves lining the walls and started perusing titles, a wide smile stretched across his face as his fingers gently caresses their spines.  It felt like he’d finally come home, as though for the first time Sam had found the safe space he’d never had as a child, a place akin to the feeling other kids got when their parents wrapped them in their arms or made them hot chocolate on a cold day. 

Pulling a few titles off the shelves Sammy carried them over to the window and climbed up onto the sill, surrounding himself with books to tide him over until Gabriel came back.  He briefly wished he could call Dean again and tell him how amazing the library was, how all the books he’d ever wanted to read but never been able to find a copy of anywhere they went seemed to be on the Trickster’s shelves.  Making a mental note to ask Gabriel for a notebook so he could keep track of things as they passed so that he’d remember everything for whenever Dean could get away from Dad long enough to call, Sam cracked open the first book, settling into a comfortable position to start reading. 

Sam realized about halfway through the first chapter of _A Tale of Two Cities_ that he was actually looking forward to the Trickster coming home.  It had been a long time since he’d had someone to talk to other than Dean, and he was shocked to find he actually liked Gabriel’s company so far.   

“Sam?”  Blinking he looked up, smiling as Gabriel strode into the room.  “I see you found the library.  Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing!  You’ve got a really good collection.”  Sam grinned, pulling an old receipt out of his pocket to mark his place in his book as Gabriel sat down beside him on the windowsill.  It took Sam a minute to notice the Trickster’s hands nervously checking the locks.  “You thought I would try to escape while you were gone, didn’t you?”

“That never actually crossed my mind, honestly.”  Gabriel said, a slightly perplexed look on his face.  “I mean, there’s no front door.  It’s not like you could just walk out onto the street and run to a payphone to call Daddy dearest.”

“There’s no front door?”  Sam asked, raising an eyebrow when Gabe nodded.  “I mean, I know you just flit in and out, but I just assumed you thought that was easier than walking in and out.  How do people visit you if you don’t have a door?”

“They don’t, usually.”  He said softly, glancing away when Sam looked up at him in surprise.  Gabriel sighed, running a hand through his hair uncomfortably.  “I mean, one of my brothers visits from time to time, but that’s about it.”

“You have siblings?”  Sammy asked, warpping his arms around his knees. 

“A whole bunch of them, yeah.”

“Are they all Tricksters too?” 

“No, they’re…”  Gabe said, cutting off with the shake of his head.  “They’re special, but different.  My favorite little one, Castiel, said he’d stop by for dinner tonight.  You’ll probably like him.  He’s smarter than me, likes to read.  I figured you could use more company than just me, you know?”

“Thank you.”  Sam said, blinking back his shock.  Silence fell between them, Sam fiddling with the edges of his book in his lap while Gabriel stared out the window.  Finally Sam, unable to stand the strange quiet, spoke up. “So are you done working for the day already?”

“What?  Oh.  No, actually, I just came back to tell you something.  And then promptly forgot.”  Gabriel grinned, shaking his head at his own ridiculousness.  “No matter what you do, don’t open the windows – and before you say it, no, I don’t think you’re trying to escape.”

“Then why can’t I open them?”  Sam asked.

“Take a good long look outside and tell me what you see.”

Raising an eyebrow Sam looked out over the well kempt lawn below him, at the neat hedge rows along the edge of the yard, the cobblestone path leading to the door – or where a door would have been, he reminded himself, if Gabriel had a front door.  There were houses across the street with pleasant fronts, all the trimmings for a perfectly normal neighborhood. 

“It looks normal.  Houses, sidewalks, cut grass lawns, the works.”  Sam said, shrugging his shoulders as he looked back at his companion.  “It’s perfectly normal, nothing out of the ordinary.  Why?”

“That’s what you see?”  Gabriel asked, wrinkling his nose in amusement.  Sam nodded, his eyebrows knitting together as Gabriel laughed.  “Wow, that’s… so very cliché of you.” 

“Well it’s your house.”  Sam said begrudgingly.  He’d never liked when he knew he was directly being teased or laughed at.  “If you think its so cliché, why live here?”

“I don’t.”  Gabriel grinned, pausing for effect as Sam looked at him in complete confusion.  He glanced out the window, a dreamy smile on his face.  “When I look out there, I see white sand beaches and perfect surfing waves.  No tourists, brilliant sunsets all day long… the best vacation spot you could ever imagine.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both of them staring out of the window as Sam wracked his brain for something to say.  Finally he looked away from the window, biting his lip.

“I don’t understand.”  Sam said softly, wincing as he said it.  There wasn’t much he’d been good for in his father’s eyes before he’d… well, given him away.  Dean was the perfect solider, the perfect son.  He followed orders well, did as he was told, and was lethal to just about everything they came across.  But Sammy?  He knew he wasn’t the best fighter yet, though he’d been improving.  During the times that Dad had left them at the motel and gone on a solo hunt, Dean had worked to train him so he’d be stronger and have better aim for the next time they were brought along, but Sam knew his real strength was knowledge.  He’d get better at hunting, but he’d always had one hell of a mind.  It pained him to sit next to Gabriel now, so confused and having to admit he didn’t understand when one of the only constants in his life, the last one he had left, had just been shattered.  He always knew what was going on.  He always understood – and now he’d lost even that.

“It’s… well, it’s magic.  There’s no other way to explain it really.”  Gabriel said.  If he noticed Sam’s internal conflict, he didn’t say anything, much to Sam’s gratitude.  He didn’t think he could bear it if he got teased again right now.  “The windows show you the outside world as you want to see it, not as it really is.”

“Where are we really then?”

“Somewhere in the vicinity between Heaven and Earth’s atmosphere, wedged in a celestial pocket that suited my tastes and need for relative solitude.”  Gabriel said, picking casually at his fingernails as though that were the most normal piece of real estate in the world.  Sammy just blinked up at him, dazed.  “You see… well, it’s a long story.  Let’s just say my family had a falling out and I needed a place to call my own where no one could just drop in on me.”

“And if I open the windows, we’ll die of suffocation because it would upset the flow of oxygen inside the house, right?  I’d get sucked out into the vacuum of space.”  Sam said, his face going pale.

“Well, you would die.  I wouldn’t, since I don’t breathe.  Up until right before I brought you home with me, this place didn’t NEED to have oxygen.  It’s a new thing for me, but I must say, I rather like it.”  Gabriel grinned, winking at the completely glazed look the teenager was giving him.  “Seriously though, I’ve rigged things so that even if something happens and one of the windows blows out, you won’t die.  The oxygen barrier stops just before the glass.”

“Then… why can’t I open the windows?”  Sam asked flicking his hair out of his eyes.

“Because if you do, any protections I have in place with be weakened, perhaps even enough that someone could find this place if they were trying to track me.  And if they have the power to track me – which not many things do – they have the power to poof in here and cause damage.  Believe me, neither of us wants that.”  Gabriel sighed, rubbing a hand over his forehead.  “Some of my family… well, they’re worth hiding from, I’ll say that much.”

“There are bad seeds in every family, right?”  Sam said encouragingly.  “I mean, you met my Dad.”

“Yeah kid, I did.”  Gabe laughed.  Standing up he stretched, sighing when he looked at his watch.  “Eh, I suppose I better go figure out this dinner situation if Cas is dropping by, tricks will have to wait for tomorrow.  Would you want to help out?”

“I don’t know anything about cooking, but sure, why not?”  Sam smiled, taking the hand Gabriel offered to help him off the window sill. 

As they left the room, Sam found himself smiling for no reason for the first time in quite a while. 


	4. Cosmic Irony or Dad's Plan?

Sam wasn’t quite sure what to make of Gabriel’s brother when he showed up. 

He’d arrived out of nowhere with only the strange disembodied sound of bird’s wings announcing him, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of an oversized trench coat.  Sam glanced into the door-less entryway in interest as Gabriel ran off to greet his brother.  He got the feeling as he watched him walk forward to shake hands with his brother without Gabriel offering to take his jacket that the coat was more a vital piece of his being than just another piece of clothing, sort of like Dean and the amulet Sam had given him all those Christmases ago when Dad hadn’t even bothered to show up.  There was a familiar comfort in the way they looked at each other that made Sammy’s heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest, especially when he thought about his own brother.

Sam went back to setting the table, sure they had things to talk about that didn’t require his presence.

“This must be your… strangely acquired guest.”  He turned towards the doorway, blinking up at the man standing there looking at him steadily.  The deepness of his voice threw Sam as he shook the hand the man offered him.  The man’s serene, gentle face seemed so at odds with his voice that for a minute, it left him feeling slanted and off balance.  The relaxed look he’d given Gabriel when he arrived was gone, a polite but detached calmness taking its place.  “I’m Castiel, Gabriel’s younger brother.  It’s nice to meet you Sam.”

“Nice to meet you too.”  Sam said, eyes flicking between the two brothers with interest.  Unlike Gabriel, Castiel didn’t feel as easy to be around or as warm.  There was something detached about him, as though he wasn’t quite sure how to relax.  Even so, there was a calmness that seemed to radiate out of him that made Sam feel at ease as they made their way to the dinner table.

“We made your favorite.”  Gabe grinned as they settled in, Cas’s eyes falling on the pile of burgers in the middle of the table.  The other man broke into a wide smile that made his eyes light up.  Sam found himself smiling along with him and his brother.  Something about the way the two of them fell together made it impossible for him to be uncomfortable.

“So Gabriel mentioned you have a brother?”  Castiel asked, helping himself to another burger as he spoke.  “Did he try and stop your father selling you off, or was that a family effort?”

Sam didn’t trust himself to say anything, his throat closing up uncomfortably against the surges of hurt and anger brought on by the Gabe’s odd brother’s words.  The Trickster stared between them for a moment, clearly unsure what needed to be said.  Finally, Gabe turned to his brother, narrowing his eyes.

“Way to be a buzz kill, Tactless Wonder.  And to think, this evening started out so nicely.”  Cas looked mildly startled, excusing himself from the table under the pretext of getting more to drink – Gabriel frowned sadly, knowing his brother was embarrassed.  Turning to Sam he pressed the teenager’s hand where it rested on the tabletop, clearly unsure what he should do to comfort him in this situation.  “Sorry about him.  Cas doesn’t really talk to many people outside the family and tends to be a bit… too direct.  He really isn’t a total emotionless douche, I promise, he just has a hard time showing anyone who isn’t me any sort of normal emotion.  We’re the oddballs in our family, you see – most of them come off as cold and detached, and don’t care much about people’s feelings.  Cas is younger and he was raised without me for the most part, but in the last few decades he’d really started to try to understand human emotion.  It’s still a little foreign to him, and sometimes he says the wrong thing like he did just now.  But he’s a good guy, I promise.”

“I upset you, didn’t I?”  Cas asked from the doorway, his hands clutched tightly around the neck of the wine bottle he’d brought back with him.  Sitting down he stared at the table top, a frown marring the otherwise serene expression he’d worn throughout the entire evening.  “That was not my intention, I assure you.  I’m sorry for what I said.  I’ll try harder to… consider your human emotions before I speak from now on.” 

“It’s alright.”  Sam said, finding much to his surprise that he meant it.  There was something about Castile that seemed so earnest and concerned with what everyone around him needed that Sam found he couldn’t believe the oddball in the trench coat would ever willfully harm anyone, emotionally or otherwise.  His intention hadn’t been to wound, he was sure, but from mere curiosity and from what Gabriel had said a lack of socialization or experience with complex emotions.  It was impossible not to feel fond of him watching as Gabe stole food off his brother’s plate, the same sort of warm smile sliding onto Cas’s face that Sam had often seen on Dean’s face when he’d completed a particularly hard training session with flying colors or the time he’d exorcised his first spirit.  It made Sam homesick in a way that still let him smile, in spite of himself, to see such a loving brotherly relationship that seemed to mirror his own.

“So, can you tell me a little about yourself Sam?”  Castiel asked gently, clearly not wanting to do anything else to upset the teenager.  Sam grinned encouragingly at him, Gabe watching the careful interaction between them with a pleased look on his face – as much as he’d said Sam would need someone else to talk to besides himself, he’d definitely thought this would be good practice for Castiel in dealing with humans as well. 

His little brother had always been fascinated with them, but was never given missions that meant he’d have to interact with them.  He’d often told Gabe how he wished their father would trust him enough to give him a human to watch over like some of their other siblings.  Rather than give him the opportunity to learn, Castiel had been filed off among the ranks to do other tasks, ones that rarely offered him a chance to go to Earth and mingle among humanity.  When Gabriel had realized Sam would be staying with him indefinitely, that there was no way he was willing to let him go back to his asshat of a father, Gabriel decided practically on the spot that he would need to have Cas over to the house more often so that he got used to dealing with humans.  More than anything, he wanted Cas to succeed, and if he wanted to protect humanity, damn it, Gabe was going to make sure he knew how to handle humans so that if he ever got his chance he’d show their father and all the other assholes in the host just how competent and wonderful he could be.  One day, Gabe had no doubt his brother would amount to more than most of his other siblings put together, but for now, he just needed practice in dealing with humanity.

“That’s interesting.  I don’t know much about Neruda myself, but he certainly sounds like he’d be a good read.”  Cas was saying when Gabriel finally broke out of his thoughts and back into the present.  Clearly, he’d missed a good chunk of the conversation if they’d already found their shared interest in reading.  “So Gabriel mentioned you have a brother.  Are you the older or younger brother?”

“Oh, Dean’s a few years older than me.”  Sam said at once, trailing off when he noticed the way Cas’s face lit up.  Gabe raised an eyebrow at his brother questioningly.

“Your last name wouldn’t happen to be Winchester would it?”  Cas asked slowly, blinking when Sam nodded.  Turning to look at his older brother he gave him a pointed look, his face flushed and excited.  “Gabriel, can I speak to you in the other room please?”

Nodding he followed his brother into the other room, quickly shooting a look back at Sam that he hoped was soothing, but he wasn’t sure.  Once they were safely enclosed in his office he shut the door and turned back to his little brother, his arms crossed over his chest.  In front of him Castiel was shaking slightly, clearly torn between excitement and nerves.

“What’s going on Cas?”  Gabe asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.  Something about the nervous way his brother was twitching made him worry he was about to get dragged into family business – and if Castiel was involved, Gabe knew he’d have to intercede.  Besides Anna or Balthazar, he wasn’t sure any of their other siblings would care enough to watch out for Cas, wayward feather duster that he was some times.  He’d always cared too much, and been hurt too easily.  As one of the youngest of the host, Castiel didn’t have the respect of  most of his older siblings – and besides Gabriel, he doubted any of the other archangels even cared to remember his name, let alone love him like a brother.  Gabriel wouldn’t admit it to his face, but Cas was the one person who could make him come home and deal with the rest of the family if he had to.  To date, Cas had never asked that of him, much to his relief.

Hopefully that wasn’t about to change.

“I didn’t have a chance to tell you earlier, and then I got distracted when you invited me to dinner to meet Sam and I wasn’t sure if I should bring it up in front of him since I doubt you told him what you are or what the rest of the family does.  I finally got what I asked for; even though most of the host is sure I’ll fail.”  Castiel said excitedly, tripping over his words.  A wide smile breaking out over his face.  “I’ve been made a guardian!” 

“I don’t believe it… congratulations!”  Gabe grinned, automatically pulling his little brother into a tight hug.  Cas trembled against him, clearly too excited to hold still.  “You know, that was the one thing I prayed to Father about right?  That he’d make you happy and let you be a guardian.”

“Really?  You did that for me?”  Castiel grinned, pulling back to look up at Gabe.  The archangel nodded, tears springing up in the other angel’s eyes.  “That means a lot to me Gabriel, really.  Thank you.”

“You deserved a chance to do what you’ve always wanted to little brother, you don’t have to thank me.”  He grinned, patting Castiel on the shoulder.  “I don’t understand though, what does this have to do with Sam?  You could have told me this any time.  I thought you were going to explode back there.”

“I didn’t realize it right away, but when Sam said his brother’s name I figured it out, and then when he told me his last name…”  Gabe laughed, shaking his head.  Cas had a bad habit of talking too fast when he was truly excited.  Cas took a deep breath, his face pink with excitement.  “Sorry, I’ll get to the point.  I was charged to look over Dean Winchester, mission effective starting tomorrow.”

“You’re serious?”  Gabriel asked breathlessly, swallowing against the lump rising in his throat.

“Father sees great potential in Dean, but being raised by that tyrannical father and losing his little brother…”  Cas said, pulling the picture out of his pocket that had been attached to the file.  Gabriel looked down at the obviously younger Sam sitting happily atop the shoulders of an older boy, both of them smiling and happy.  “Father felt he might need a little more guidance than he was getting, and offered me the job of looking after him.  There’s light and goodness in him, and he doesn’t want Dean to lose sight of that.”

“What sort of game is Father playing with this?”  Gabriel muttered, glancing up to meet Cas’s puzzle expression.  “You have to admit, it’s a little suspicious that right after I acquire one of them, you get handed a mission to take care of the other one.  This all stinks a little too strongly of divine intervention, don’t you think?”

“I think Father knows what’s best for those boys, and for us.  I have to believe the best in humanity, and in him.”  Cas said, light flooding his eyes.  If anyone else in the heavenly host had answered him like that, Gabriel would have laughed at them and said they sounded like a voice recording on the Holy Answering Machine.  But Cas… when he spoke, it was like he truly believed in their Father, and maybe he did.  Gabriel loved that about him – Castiel and his never ending loyalty and compassion had always been sitting there, just waiting for the opportunity to show just how much love and light he had to offer. 

“Don’t say anything about this to Sam just yet, okay?  I haven’t told him what I am yet.  Right now he thinks I’m just the Trickster, and I’d prefer if you left it that way.  I know I can’t hold out on telling him I’m an angel, especially if you’re going to be around his brother all the time, but I want to put that conversation off for as long as possible.”  Gabriel asked, grinning slightly when Castiel nodded immediately.  He knew his little brother would follow his lead, but whether because he thought Gabe’s plan was for the best or simply out of loyalty, he wasn’t sure. 

As they took their seat back at the table Sam didn’t ask what they’d left for saving Gabriel the trouble of having to lie.  He realized with a jolt as Sam went into the kitchen to get the ice cream from the freezer for dessert that he didn’t want to lie to Sammy, not now.  Not ever, if he could help it.

“I’m glad it’s you looking after his brother, if anyone had to.”  Gabriel whispered quickly, Cas flushing modestly as Sam reentered the room and sat back down to scoop everyone’s ice cream.

At the back of his mind, a thought scratched at his calm, but he kept his smile tightly in place.  He couldn’t help but wonder if Dean, rather than most sane people who would keep it to themselves, would tell his little brother when he found out he had a guardian angel.  And if he did, if he would tell Sammy his angel wore a trench coat. 


	5. Feathers

Much to Gabriel’s surprise, the rest of the night went by smoothly with his new guest and his oddball little brother.  After the adults had an after dinner coffee and Sam had thoroughly confused Castiel with pop culture references after he suggest they play Trivial Pursuit, Cas had left to prepare himself for his ‘big day’.  He made a mental note to find his little brother later and see how his first day as a guardian went.  That and he wanted to know the second one of the Winchester boys figured out who he really was.  He was halfway to the kitchen the next morning before he realized something strange.  Backtracking, Gabriel hurried back towards his office stopping short outside Sam’s room. 

It was empty.

He knew he was being irrational – there was no door, and Sam knew there that opening the windows led only to the blackness of space.  And yet, as he felt his chest tighten uncomfortably, he couldn’t stop himself from tearing through room after room looking for the teenager.  He didn’t know why, but he felt miserable at the very idea that Sam Winchester might have found a way to leave.  He knew it was stupid, knew Sam only wanted to go home to his big brother, but he’d let himself believe that they’d really started to get along… and that for once, he’d found someone who wouldn’t up and leave him with no warning, someone who would stay.

He nearly knocked Sam over as he raced into the kitchen.

“Sorry!”  Gabe said breathlessly, quickly taking a step back.  Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled none the less as he carried the platter of pancakes he was carrying into the dining room.  “You’re up early today.”

“Yeah, generally I’m an early riser.  Yesterday morning must have just been a fluke after… all the excitement that happened.”  Sam’s shoulders slumped as he sat down, Gabriel pointedly looking away when he noticed.  “Anyways… do you have time for some breakfast before you leave?  I mean, I know this situation is weird for both of us, and I know you don’t have to treat me as well as you have been or given me a way to talk to my brother.  I just thought, maybe, I could make you breakfast as a thank you.”

“You made me pancakes?”  Gabriel blinked, unable to stop the slow smile that slid across his face.  “Yeah… yeah I should have enough time for some pancakes.”

 

******

 

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, eyebrows knitting together as he struggled to figure out what to do next.  He might have been inexperienced as a guardian, but to his knowledge none of his siblings had ever gotten quite a reaction like the one he’d just gotten out of Dean Winchester.  So far, the young hunter had smacked him in the back of the head with an iron crowbar, tried to drown him in holy water, shot him with rock salt and chanted Latin at him like his life depended on it.  He’d heard of crazy reactions to proof of the divine, but this was insane. 

“I assure you, I’m exactly what I said I am.”  Castiel said, watching Dean paced back and forth across the tiny motel room he shared with his father.  Cas had been hovering just outside the window, invisible to the human eye, waiting for John Winchester to leave.  It had been grueling, especially when John and Dean started to argue – apparently Dean wanted to discuss something John had decided was a settled matter – culminating in John shoving Dean into the wall before storming out. 

It had taken every bit of grace Castiel had in his body to keep him from striking the older hunter down as he passed by. 

“So you’re my guardian angel or some shit?”  Dean asked, flopping down on the edge of his bed.  “Why are you watching over me?”

“Because God commanded it.”  Cas said, his voice deadly serious.  Dean stared at him for nearly a full minute before bursting out laughing. 

As Castiel watched him clutch his sides, rolling round on the mattress like that was the funniest thing he’d ever heard, he felt discouraged.  He’d never known one of his brothers or sisters to get laughed at before.  Trying to muster up a bit of hope, he took a deep breath and materialized his wings, spreading them wide across the length of the motel room.

Dean stopped short, his eyes wide as he took in the great black wings brushing the ceiling and walls with their longest feathers.

“Holy Hell...”  Dean muttered, swallowing as he trailed his eyes from wing tip to wing tip. 

“That’s a direct contradiction, you know.  There’s nothing Holy about Hell.”  Castiel said lightly, folding his wings back up but keeping them visible for Dean’s sake.  “Look, let me try to explain this differently, since apparently you find the idea of God singling you out to be ridiculous.”

“Because there is no God.”  Dean said at once, wincing when Castiel’s eyes widened, his lips pressed into a hard line as his wings jerked angrily behind him.  “Sorry, reflex.  Dad didn’t exactly raise us to be good little Christians after our Mom died.”

“It has nothing to do with being Christian, but I’ll accept that response for now.”  Cas said, his voice becoming gradually calmer.  He knew he needed to get on top of this situation, that someone up top was probably watching him – a weird notion since other than Gabriel, his siblings generally paid him no mind at all – and he didn’t want to mess this up right from the start.  “Father sees a light in you, and a powerful one at that.  You can do great things Dean Winchester, but there’s a lot going on in your life that has the potential to snuff that light out.  You face evil on a regular basis, and see things that could make any normal person turn away from hope and good.  I’m here to protect and help you so that you have the chance to grow to your full potential.”

“If this is a joke, it’s not funny.”  Dean snapped, anger seething in his voice.  Cas flinched back, clearly affronted.  He hadn’t meant for his words to inspire that kind of reaction, clearly, and for a second Dean felt a little guilty.  The so-called angel seemed so unsure of himself that for a moment, the young hunter felt the same way he usually felt when he was with Sammy, that he needed to be the bigger person and reassure this Castiel person that he was doing an okay job, even if he didn’t believe in God.  “Look, no one has ever told me I had any sort of potential.  Not teachers, not my Dad.  The closest thing would be Sammy, but he hero worships me, he doesn’t know any better.  And now you’re telling me that God thinks I can do great things?  Forgive me if I’m a little thrown by that.  I mean, what does he expect me to do?” 

“He expects nothing of you.  All he asks is that you continue to be yourself and continue to be full of good and light, that’s all.”  Cas said, smiling softly when Dean visibly calmed. 

“So, what’s your job exactly?”  He asked, his eyes fixed on the angel’s flexing wings. 

“I’m here to help guide you, see that you make good decisions, that sort of thing.”  Cas said, raising an eyebrow when Dean laughed again.  “What’s so funny?”

“So you’re like Jiminy Cricket?”

“I don’t get that reference.”

“Do I really have to teach my angel about Disney movies?  God, it’s like raising Sam all over again.”  Dean sighed, noting a little guiltily that Cas winced when he took the lord’s name in vain.  “Sorry, I’ll uh… try to keep that to a minimum.”

“That would be appreciated, thank you.”  Cas said, clearly pleased.  His wings fluttered behind him in an adorable kind of way, a smile cracking across Dean’s face as he watched them.  Clearly Castiel didn’t have much control over his wings in regards to hiding his emotions, something the hunter felt would really come in handy later if he really was going to be seeing a lot of the angel.  “So, any more questions?”

“Can I touch your wings?”  Dean asked, the blush that crept of his face a telling sign that he hadn’t meant to blurt that out.  Cas blinked, clearly unsure what the protocol was for a request like this – was just as red in the face as his charge was.  “It’s okay if you don’t want me to, I wasn’t really thinking.  This is just so hard to believe, and they keep moving and distracting me, and they look really cool…”

“You can touch them, I guess.”  Cas said, his words slow and clearly still unsure.  “But… be gentle, please.  No one’s ever… touched them before.”

“Really?  Angels don’t touch each other’s wings at all?”  Dean asked, carefully slipping off the bed.  Cas’s wings flexed a little nervously, but his face looked calm enough that the hunter didn’t stop his unhurried steps across the carpet.  He shuffled nervously in front of the angel once he was next to him, clearly trying to give Castiel every chance he might need to back out. 

“Well… usually, they do.  But not mine.”  Cas said, his voice a little strained.  Dean narrowed his eyes at him, the angel looking away as he next spoke.  “My brothers and sisters aren’t very affectionate with me.  I’m not important, so they don’t touch my wings.”

“Oh.”

Watching Castiel shift sadly under his gaze Dean thought about life with his Dad, especially now that Sam was gone, and how shitty it felt to not have even the smallest trace of affection of companionship now that his little brother had been traded away.  Reaching out he gentle hand a hand down Castiel’s left wing, nearly pulling his hand back when Castiel let out a little sound of surprise, but he held steady.  His feathers were soft and warm against his fingertips, the wing under his hand jerking closer towards him making him chuckle. 

“Don’t worry Cas.”  Dean grinned, moving around the angel to give his right wing equal attention.  “We can be outcasts together.”

“I think I’d like that.” 


	6. Reunions

Gabriel had just arrived back on Earth after an extra-long breakfast with Sam, flicking through his list of veritable asshats who needed a taste of his particular brand of just desserts, when Cas appeared beside him looking anxious and windswept.  Gabriel kept his eyes down at his list, though he wasn’t really reading it anymore.  He was pretty sure he didn’t have to ask why his brother looked like he was the goldfish about to be swallowed whole by a cat.

“Dean asked you to let him see his brother, didn’t he?”  Gabe asked, folding down the corner of the page he’d been reading before turning to look at the younger angel. 

“I didn’t know what to say, and I could hear his father pulling into the parking lot, and he was looking at me like I was his absolute last hope in the entire WORLD.”  Castiel said in a rush, tears pricking up in the corners of his eyes as he spoke, wringing his hands nervously as he looked up at his brother.  “I know you don’t want Sam to know just yet… but if you could see how much brighter his soul sparked at the very idea that he might get to see his brother again Gabriel… I don’t want to fail him.”

“Everyone feels that way about their first charge Cas, I understand.  The first one is the hardest, because you’re most scared of screwing up.”  He said slowly, trying to weigh his words carefully before speaking.  In a perfect world, he would find a clever way to keep Castiel from bringing the boys back together while he found a way to explain who he was to Sam that somehow didn’t make Sam freak out and look at him different.  Judging by the way his brother’s face was going tomato red, however, today was not a good time to hope for a perfect world.

“It’s not that at all.  If he were my last charge instead of my first, I’d still want to reunite him with his brother.  He’s gone through Hell and asked for nothing but to know his brother is safe and to gain approval from his father, and at the moment, he has neither.”  Castiel said heatedly, looking down in embarrassment at his feet when Gabriel raised an eyebrow at his passionate delivery.  “I care about his wellbeing, and that seems to be proportionally tied to how well his brother is doing.  Since he hasn’t seen Sam, he’s been a wreck – I know, I read his mind while I was waiting for his father to leave.”

“That man… I’d love to tied him to a tree and feed him to rabid squirrels.”  Gabe sighed, shoving his notebook back into his pocket.  It was clear from the way this morning had gone that he wouldn’t be doing any work as the Trickster for a while, not with Sam to watch out for and Castiel to keep an eye on.  “He should never have been allowed to procreate, the damn lousy father.”

“Then you know why I need to let Dean see Sam so badly.”  Cas said in a quiet voice, his brother blinking at him in helpless surprise.  “You saved one brother from John’s tyranny.  Let me save the other in the best way I can.”

 

******

 

“Back so soon?”  Sam grinned, not looking up from where he stood at the sink scrubbing maple syrup off the breakfast plates.  Gabriel had offered to quickly poof them clean, but Sam had insisted on cleaning up saying he needed something to do to keep his hands busy.  “You know, you’re not doing a very good job at convincing me you have a real job with how much time you’ve spent loitering around her the last few days.” 

“Sammy…”

It took him about two seconds to look up, his eyes welled up with tears at the voice he never expected to hear so close to him again, another three seconds to drop the plate into the sink, not caring as it shattered against the stainless steel bottom as he turned just in time for Dean to scoop him up in his arms and swing him around.  Deliriously happy, his older brother didn’t even seem to mind when his still wet hands curled in the back of his shirt dampening the old faded plaid as they laughed to keep from crying. 

“I can’t believe it’s really you!”  Dean grinned, pulling back to give his brother the once over.  “I’ve been so worried about you Sammy.  I mean, I know you said this Gabe dude was treating you well, but until I saw you with my own eyes…”

“I know Dean, I know.”  Sam sniffed, wiping his face with the end of his sleeve.  “How did you get here?  This place is supposed to be hidden away all super-secret-like.” 

“Well, I happen to have found a way around super secrets.”  Dean grinned proudly, gesturing over his shoulder for someone to enter the kitchen.  Sam looked around him, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion as Castiel stepped into the room looking sheepish.  Not noticing either of their faces, Dean slapped Cas on the back looking admiringly up at him.

“Sam, meet my very own guardian angel.”  His smile was blinding, the angel briefly forgetting the other Winchester was there as he looked sideways at the young hunter, his face full of adoration.

“Wait, Cas is your guardian angel?”  Sam asked, his voice cracking slightly.  Cas winced, but nodded in response to the question all the same.  “You’re an ANGEL?!”

“How do you know Cas?”  Dean asked, his voice suddenly suspicious.  Castiel didn’t look up, biting his lip when Dean tugged on his left wing insistently, his face holding a look closer to disappointment than anger.  “What the hell is going on here?” 

“I guess I have some explaining to do.”

Sam turned to look at Gabriel before the other two, his eyes wing as the archangel stepped into the kitchen extending his long golden wings as he went.  Dean’s grip softened on Castiel’s feathers as he shifted closer to his little brother, an arm extended in front of Sammy’s chest to shield him as Gabriel walked closer.

“You’re an angel too then?”  Sam asked, his voice so soft Gabriel had to strain to hear him.

“An archangel in fact, not to brag or anything.”  He said, rubbing the back of his neck with worry.  He was waiting for the typical show of human fear that tended to erupt whenever he announced his heavenly lineage.  Frankly, he’d gotten sick of it before the first millennium was even over.  “I know I should have told you, but I’ve been working on Earth in as the Trickster and away from my family for so long, I barely ever find myself in a situation where someone knows who I really am.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with the identity my Father made me.”

Sam inched out from behind his brother slowly, Dean giving him a look that clearly said that at the first sign of trouble – angels or no – he would start swinging. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”  Sam asked, taking a step forward when Gabriel looked down, his wings drooping.  “I don’t see why you’d hide who you are from me.”

“Generally humans either treat us like gods or fear us.  I know that doesn’t sound so bad, but its alienating.  Even if they worship you, people will never get close to you when they see you as something that’ other.”  Gabriel sighed, his wings tightening around his body as he spoke.  “I didn’t want any of that from you, that’s all.”

“Do I look like I’m doing either of those things?”  Sam asked, grinning when Gabe looked up at him in surprise.  “You’re still just Gabe to me, no matter what you are.”

“He’s such a good egg, huh?”  Dean grinned, nudging Cas with his arm.  The angel grinned, clearly glad to see his charge wasn’t upset with him anymore. 

“You raised him well.”  Castiel said honestly, a blush creeping up Dean’s neck as he ruffled the angel’s hair affectionately.  The two passed affectionate glances, Sam watching them with a mixture of awe and amusement on his face as Gabriel’s phone buzzed in his pocket.  Pulling it out of his pocket he read over the message on his screen, his stomach flipping over uncomfortably as he did so.

“”Well, now that that’s out of the way, how about we leave you two to catch up?”  Gabe suggested, quickly dragging Castiel out of the room before either boy could respond.  He led his brother back into his study, not speaking until he closed the door behind them and locked it.  “You said earlier you want to help Dean in the best way you can, right?”

“Yes, of course.”  Cas responded at once, rolling his eyes at the amused look his brother shot him at the quickness and complete certainty of his answer.

“And part of a guardian angel’s job is to protect their charge, right?”  Gabe said slowly, licking his lips absently as he turned to riffle through the papers strewn haphazardly over his desk.

“You know it is.”  Castiel replied, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat.

“And we protect humans no matter what, right?”  Gabe countered, his voice starting to slip to a level of desperation now.  His brother paused, watching him carefully as he considered how best to answer him.

“You already know the answer to that.  Of course we do, that’s out job.”  The younger angel said.  Taking his brother by the shoulders he looked into his eyes critically, glancing down at the papers clutched in his brother’s hands.  “Gabriel, what are you getting at?” 

“I think I found something, something terrible.”  Gabe said desperately, glancing back at the door as though worried one of the boys would break through it at any minute.  “I received some information that… well, it looks like Azazel wasn’t appeased with killing Mary Winchester.  Balthazar trapped a demon today during a mission that let slip her name, and upon interrogation he let slip that Azazel found out John gave his youngest son away but was looking for him.”

“What does he want with him?”  Cas asked, the tension he was feeling clear in the strained tautness of his shoulders. 

“No idea right now.  After that, the demon smoked out of his body before Balthazar could get creative to force him to talk.”  Gabriel sighed, glancing down at the papers in his hands.  “I’ve been looking though my old spells to see if there’s any protections I haven’t thought of yet to assure there’s no way that yellow-eyed freak could get anywhere near this place or Sam.”

“Do you think Dean is in danger?”  Castiel asked anxiously, his wings fluttering behind him with visible worry.

“I wouldn’t put it passed a demon to take him hostage if he thought it could get him closer to his goal.”  Gabriel said, watching sadly as his little brother’s face fell. 

“What should I do?”  Castiel asked.  “I… I need to keep him safe at all costs.  You have to help me, brother.”

“Don’t worry, I have a plan.”  Gabriel smirked, looking down at the summoning spell on the paper in his hands.  “We’re going to trap that son of a bitch and kill him before he can lay a finger on either of our boys.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for the sluggish wait between updates! I've only got a month left of classes and then I should have time to whip updates out more quickly, I promise :) Hope you liked the chapter, and be on the lookout for another update soon.


	7. I Feel You

“Time to say goodbye to each other for now boys, I have to report in to Father soon.” 

Sam and Dean looked up from where they were sitting huddled together on the lavish white leather couch in Gabriel’s living room, matching looks of disappointment plastered on their faces as their angels strode back into the room.  One look at their pathetic faces has Castiel looking ready to take his words back instantly, but Gabriel refused to budge shaking his head at his little brother.

“I’m afraid this is nonnegotiable kiddos.  Cas needs to get Dean home before your Dad comes back from his hunt.”  Gabe explained, rolling his eyes when Sam pouted up at him.  “Don’t even try it kiddo.  I grew up with a few thousand brothers and sisters, I don’t cave to the puppy dog face.  C’mon, say goodbye to your brother so they can leave.”

“But—” Sam started, falling silent when Dean stood up clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s alright Sammy.  It’s not like we’ll never see each other again, it’s just good bye for now.  We’ve already gotten to see each other much sooner than I thought we would after I found out Dad sold you off without telling me.”  Dean said, Cas shifting uncomfortably next to him.  Outwardly, he seemed to be taking things very well, but dipping inside his mind the angel could see just how much pain it was causing the young hunter to have to be parted from his brother once again.  Gabriel watched the pair of them curiously, looking out of the corner of his eye at Sam wondering if it would be unethical to read the mind of a human he wasn’t bonded to.  In the end, he looked away, sure the last thing Sam wanted right now was someone poking around in his head without him having a say in it.

Too much, Gabriel realized with an inward flinch, about Sam Winchester’s life had been decided without his consent already.

“Hey, don’t give me that look.”  Dean sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck as his little brother looked down at his hands in his lap.  The angels both looked away, neither one entirely sure how to deal with the face that the teenager looked like he was on the verge of tears.  “Besides, you can always call me.”

When he looked back at the pair of brothers Gabe could tell Sam had things he still wanted to say, that there were words hovering just behind his lips just bursting to be said, but he kept his thoughts to himself as he let his older brother pull him into a hug and ruffle his hair.

“I guess… I’ll see you around.  Bye, Dean.”  Sam said looking down at the carpet as Castiel took ahold of his brother’s arm just before they disappeared. 

For a minute neither of them spoke, both of them staring at the spot where their brothers had just been. 

“You okay kid?”  Gabe asked.  Sam nodded, turning without a word to go back to his room.  For a minute the arch angel considered going after him, but quickly disregarded that thought: after all, he wasn’t sure what sort of comfort he could offer, especially since he was the one who’d taken him from his family in the first place.  The circumstances didn’t matter all that much when it came down to it.  Gabe chewed on his lower lip, wondering if he would ever stop being guilty for inadvertently pulling apart two boys whose whole lives revolved around each other. 

Sparing one look around the empty room before snapping himself back to Earth.

Over the next few days, they didn’t speak much.  The arch angel tried to breech the wall Sam had put up on the first day only to be met with the response that the teenager needed a little time and ‘space’ for a while.  It felt unwarranted, this sudden stillness between them, but the angel did his best to respect Sammy’s need for them to be apart. 

Gabriel came and went like he always had as if nothing had ever disrupted his routine.  It was only the weighing feeling of guilt and protectiveness that passed over him every single time he looked at Sam’s shut bedroom door that was new.  He got into the habit of announcing when he was leaving to the empty rooms around him so that, after a minute to make sure everything was still and silent, Sam would leave his room to head to the kitchen to ferret away food until the next time the Trickster returned. 

It was a devastatingly lonely way to share a home, Gabriel admitted as he walked into the library one night to find a shelf cleared off of books presumably stacked in Sam’s room to keep him company.

After that, Gabriel avoided the library altogether.

 

******

 

Dean tripped as he and Castiel materialized back into his motel room, the angel barely catching him before he hit the floor.  Pulling away from him the young hunter dusted himself off, turning away so that the older man couldn’t see just how embarrassed he was.  Misinterpreting him entirely, Castiel assumed he was frustrated with him, nervously fluttering his wings in agitation.

“My apologies, I forgot that humans aren’t used to our form of travelling.  It must be difficult for you to stomach.”  Castiel said.  Dean rolled his eyes, already becoming aware that his guardian angel wasn’t as entirely in touch with humanity as his older brother was.  Castiel watched him quietly, clearly concerned.  “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”  Dean said at once, chewing on the inside of his lip when he saw Castiel’s nervous look.  Something about the eagerness with which the angel tried to please him reminded him of the way Sammy was with him sometimes.  “Looks like I should be asking if you’re okay.”

“What?  Oh, yes, I’m okay.”  Cas said unconvincingly, swallowing slightly when his charge narrowed his eyes.  His wings flapped out nervously behind him, the tip of one knocking an iron fire poker off the edge of the side table.  Castiel quickly knelt and retrieved it, Dean rolling his eyes as the angel set it back on the table like it was breakable.  “I must admit, I’m… a bit nervous to report back to my superiors.”

“Why?”  The hunter asked, raising an eyebrow as the angel shifted nervously from foot to foot.  Dean moved into the angel’s direct line of sight, his eyes imploring as they stared into Castiel’s.  “I didn’t already screw things up for you somehow did I?”

“Why would you assume that of all things?  Why is it that when I search your mind, your first thoughts on almost any subject are always self-deprecating in nature?”  Cas asked, Dean turning bright red and looking away at the worry and tenderness in his voice.  A moment passed in silence, neither of them sure exactly what to say.  The young hunter settled down on the edge of the bed, petting the bed a second later for the angel to join him.  Castiel smiled, trying his best not to look pleased as he sat down.  “No, it’s nothing you’ve done.  I’m just worried, that’s all.  This is my first time being a guardian.”

“Really?”  Dean asked, amusement and disbelief coloring his voice.  Castiel looked down, a blush rising up his neck into his cheeks.  “I’m your first job, or whatever?”

“I’m sorry I’m not more experienced.”  Cas said softly, Dean looking over at him in shock as the angel started to tear up.  “I promise you, I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe and do my job the best that I can.  If, however, you want any angel with more experience…”

“I don’t want another angel.  I want you, Cas.” 

They stared at each other in shock, neither of them mentioning the redness in both of their faces or the way Dean had grabbed his hand.  Castiel laced his fingers with the hunter’s on impulse, swallowing against the emotion he didn’t quite understand surging up in his throat.  A moment later John’s key slid into the keyhole in the door, breaking the tension and causing panic to rise in both their throats.  Dean’s fingers tightened around Castiel’s as the door started to open.

As John stepped into the room, Dean looked over to find his angel gone. 

 

******

 

“This is a terrible plan.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, snatching the stack of papers and old spell book back from Balthazar feeling oddly nervous.  Generally, the other angel had always readily agreed to help him with his plans.  If he was hesitant, even just a little, maybe his plan really was a bust.

“I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”  Gabe sighed, snapping his things back to his house as his friend materialized two tumblers and a bottle of strong scotch.  “Azazel is after Sam, who is now my responsibility.”

“And he’ll be fine holed up in your house off the grid.  Only people who know exactly where you live and have been brought there at least once by you can find it.  I don’t see why you’re so worried, you’ve already stashed the kid in one of the safest places in the entire universe.”  Balthazar said as he poured their drinks, pushing one towards the arch angel with a worried look.  Gabriel took it without a word, downing the contents in one gulp.  “Our Father, you really are worked up about this kid aren’t you?  I haven’t seen you this worried since before the Morningstar fell.”

“He’s got an older brother who isn’t in my care that I have to worry about.”  Gabe said sadly, running a finger around the rim of his glass.  Pushing his hand out of the way Balthazar refilled it before downing his own.  “Azazel killed their mother.  I’m worried that if I don’t do something to stop him once and for all, he’ll find a way to use Dean to get to Sam.  You should see them together Balth – Sammy idolizes his big brother.  If he thought it would save Dean, I don’t think there’s anything this kid wouldn’t do to protect him, even if it meant his own death.” 

“Then suggest this Dean fellow for protection.  That’s about all you can do, really.  I mean, I know you’ve been a freewheeling angel Trickster for a long while now, but even our Father might notice if one of his arch angels starts to gank demons outside of protecting the balance.  Besides, Father listens to you – sometimes.  Get a guardian assigned to your little friend’s brother until Azazel loses interest or someone else ganks him.”  Balthazar shrugged.

“He already has a guardian.”  Gabe said sullenly, Balthazar raising an eyebrow at him.  Looking up he locked eyes with his brother.  “Dean Winchester is Castiel’s first charge as a guardian.”

“Shit.  That certainly changes things.”

“Tell me about it.”  Gabe sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

“Look, give me a day or two to come up with a better plan of attack.  You haven’t exactly been a charged with chasing down demons in a few millenniums, and you don’t know Azazel’s work like I do.  I’ll see if I can think of some way to either make your plan work or come up with something we can actually use.”  Balthazar smiled, chuckling as Gabriel ruffled his hair. 

“You’re the best, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know.”

 

******

 

Castiel was suddenly, inexplicable in pure agony.

He’d often heard that guardians felt the pain of their charges, but it had always been described as more of a neurological signal that their charge was in peril or anguish.  This was something entirely different, something that made bile rise in his throat to choke him as he doubled over suddenly in the middle of Heaven, a few of the more experienced guardians giving him an amused yet detached look as they passed him by.  Someone muttered something about him being inexperienced as he tried to struggle to his feet, another offhandedly whispering to his companion that his sudden promotion might have been too soon after all.

No one seemed to care that Castiel felt like he was on fire, that he hurt so badly he wasn’t even able to think coherently enough to shut down the connection between himself and Dean.  None of the other guardians cared to stop and help their confused and pained brother off the ground, the scores of angels around him awkwardly sidestepping him as he struggled to get himself together.    Then again, Castiel never expected anyone but Gabriel and sometimes Anna or Balthazar to care even the tiniest bit about him or offer him any real help.  Finally, in a fit of desperation, Cas launched himself through the Gates of Heaven fell to Earth without even bothering to open his wings as he hurdled through the air and into the motel room where he’d left Dean with his father just a few days beforehand.

What he found made him blood run so cold in his veins that for a minute he forgot he had ever been in pain.

The room was in shambles from a clear struggle, hunting equipment and empty beer bottles littering the floor.  Dean lay on the floor between the two beds curled in around himself with a hand pressed tightly to his face just above his right eye.  Kneeling down next to him Castiel gently laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder, pulling back at once when the hunter flinched away with a weak sound of worry.

“It’s only me Dean, there’s no need to be afraid.  I’m here to take care of you.”  Castiel said in a soft voice, relieved when Dean physically relaxed.  Gazing up at him through bleary eyes the young man pulled his hand away from his head, hissing as the air hit the jagged cut he’d been applying pressure to.  Swallowing Castiel took Dean’s face between his hands and closed his eyes, concentrating all his grace and energy on healing.  When he opened his eyes again it was to find the human staring up at him with gratitude, a thankful smile on his face.  Though it did wonders for Cas’s nerves and physical pain to see Dean put back together again it did nothing to dissuade the worried nagging in the back of his heart that something had happened to his charge without him having any warning or chance to stop it.  “I need to know what happened here.”

“It… it was nothing.”  Dean lied, looking away when Castiel’s gaze on his face never faltered.  The angel refused to budge his hands from the young man’s face when Dean tried to bat his hands away.  “I’m fine now, what does it matter?”

“I should have been able to save you, to keep you from being hurt like this.”  Castiel said, Dean looking up in shock at the anguish in the angel’s voice.  He was surprised to see tears in his guardian’s eyes.  “Part of my job is to protect you.  When there’s a threat to our charge, we’re supposed to be able to feel it before anything goes wrong, but I didn’t feel anything until you were already hurt.  Maybe everyone was right about me being unsuitable for guardianship.  I’ve only been your guardian for about a week, and I’ve already failed you.”

“This isn’t your fault Cas, please don’t be so down on yourself.”  Dean said, his voice strained as he watched Castiel start to cry.  Not knowing what else to do, Dean’s big brother instincts kicked in and he sat up pulling the angel into a hug.  Castiel stiffened momentarily, clearly shocked by the sudden affectionate gesture.  After a few seconds he relaxed into Dean’s arms, soothed by the way the hunter was rubbing slow circles on his back right over where his wing joints would be positioned if he brought his wings out.  “So in other words, if there’s a threat to me you’ll know and be able to stop it?”

“In theory, yes, I should be able to rescue you from any presented threat.  But clearly I must be programmed incorrectly since I had no idea you were in any danger today.”  Cas sighed, running a hand absently through his already windswept hair like it was taking all of his self-control not to yank on it in frustration. 

“Is there any way that how I feel could override your instincts on what is and isn’t a threat?”  Dean asked slowly, his words carefully measured.  Castiel pulled back enough to look up at his, his eyes shining with confusion and doubt. 

“What are you getting at?”

“Well, let’s say I didn’t see the person who hurt me today as a threat.  Or that I’m so used to this it doesn’t register the same way something else would for me emotionally, like when I’m worried about Sam or when some random spirit attacks me.”  Dean said, biting his lip when the angel continued to look at him in confusion.  “What if… what if the person who did this… what if I loved them?  If I don’t see them as a threat because I care about them, could that override your instinct to come protect me?”

“I suppose that could be one explanation, yes.”  Cas said softly.  Taking the hunter’s hands in his own he looked down, clearly unsure about what he had to say.  “Dean… are you trying to tell me that someone you know did this to you?”

“I… yeah, I am.  Dad got a little drunker than usual and threw me around.”  Dean said with a shrug, smiling sadly at the angel when he looked up at him in shock.  “It’s really… not that big a deal.  He’s been doing it to me since Mom died whenever he gets too worked up or has too much to drink.”

“Just because you’ve become accustomed to it, that doesn’t make it okay.”  Castiel said fervently, blinking back against the second onslaught of tears he felt rising up behind his eyes.  “Dean, a father shouldn’t hurt his children.  You deserve better than that.”

“No, there was never any hope for me after Mom died.  Sammy’s the one who deserved better than what Dad could give him and I did everything I could to make sure he got it.”  Dean said softly.  “I made sure nothing like this ever happened to Sammy.  Even when I couldn’t make sure he got three meals a day or that we had enough blankets when the heat didn’t work, I at least made damn sure Dad never laid a finger on that kid.” 

“You are without a doubt the most magnificent soul I’ve ever seen Dean Winchester.”

The hunter looked up in shock, clearly not used to being praised.  Castiel looked down quickly, his face heating up as Dean watched him curiously.  As before, when their hands automatically curled around one another’s, neither one of them mentioned it. 

“I’ve seen souls torn to pieces without having gone through any one of the numerous misfortunes that you’ve faced.  You see things in your line of work with your father that would scare normal humans to death or disbelief, and yet your soul still shines more brightly than any I’ve ever seen before in my line walking among humanity.  To me, that makes you miraculous, and I’m so honored to be your guardian.”  Castiel said in a rush, the passion and fondness clear in his voice.

Dean didn’t know what to say.  Instead, when the angel finally dared look up at him, he did the first thing that felt right to him and pulled Castiel against him and into a kiss.   


	8. Broken Rules

Gabriel was so invested on making waffles and bacon to casually leave out on the table for Sam to find after he left for pranking on Earth that he didn’t notice immediately that company had arrived.  

“Last time I was here, I believe you had fifteen randy nymphs ad one very eccentric centaur clomping around your apartment in varied states of undress.  That was quite a party if I remember it correctly – a few gallons of booze don’t exactly serve the memory banks well.”  The archangel turned with a smile, materializing an orange to throw at Balthazar as he took a seat at the floating island by the stack of waffles already ready and cooling.  “You haven’t thrown a party like that for a few hundred years.  Those were the days, ay brother?”

“What can I say?  Copious amounts of meaningless sex just isn’t what it used to be, I must have finally reached my maturity.  Won’t Dad be proud?”  Gabe laughed, rolling his eyes as Balthazar picked at the substantial pile off bacon in the center of the table. 

“Well, you can’t always be the rebellious child.  Sometimes, even angels like us end up doing Father proud – even when it is purely on accident.”  Balthazar sighed.  They shared a meaningful look, neither of them feeling the need to say more.  Both of them knew that, no matter how much time passed as the world changed and they remained unchanged and immovable, they would never forget to temper their rebellions.  The lessons of the Morningstar had been hard learned for all the angels, even two as free spirited as Gabriel and his brother.  “Since when do you cook, by the way?  Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Don’t use that tone with me Balth.  I’ll have you know I’m a great cook.”  Gabriel said defensively, his brother huffing in distress when the arch angel pulled the plates of food away from him.  Sticking his tongue out childishly, Gabriel turned back to the stove to flip the last round of bacon over.  “Just because I don’t generally break out my amazing cooking skills to impress YOU, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have them.”

“So these are for the kid living with you then I’m guessing?”  Balthazar grinned, laughing when his brother looked away, clearly flustered.  “Heh, I knew it.  Where’s he hiding anyways?”

“For your information I’m not a kid anymore.  I’m sixteen years old, nearly seventeen.  As for where I’m at, well, I trust you can figure that one out for yourself.”  Both angels turned to look at where Sam stood leaning arms crossed against the door frame.  Shoving off against it he strode into the kitchen, Balthazar watching him with amusement as he flopped down onto the stool next to him gratefully taking the plates Gabriel turned to hand him.  “I’m assuming you’re another of Gabe’s angel brothers then?”

“Guilty as charged.”  The angel grinned, arching at eyebrow at his brother at the way the teenager took the existence of angels in stride.  “My name’s Balthazar.”

“Sam Winchester.” 

“Pleasure, I’m sure.” 

The introductions out of the way, the kitchen fell into an uneasy silence.  Sam started in on his breakfast trying desperately to ignore the way that Balthazar, who wanted more than anything else to understand what it was about a human teenager that would make his brother want to risk taking on a top tier demon without specific orders from their Father, was staring at him without blinking.  Even though he’d turned off the stove, Gabriel stood staring awkwardly at it, his hands in front of him gripping onto the edge of the counter so tightly his knuckles were going white.  He’d been hoping for days that, eventually, Sammy would come and tell him what it was that he’d done wrong that send the young hunter running into hiding in the first place – he hadn’t, however, wanted anyone to be here when that happened.  Balthazar had quite a memory and a keen mind for teasing.

“Well this has been fun, but we’ve got work to do.”  Gabriel said suddenly, his brother huffing at him and gesturing none to subtly at the teenager beside him.  “Balthazar, the office, now.”

“Alright, don’t get your wings in a twist darling.  Though you are right, I suppose.  There’s no time like the present for business like ours.”  He sighed, strutting out of the room with the arch angel following close behind him. 

Gabriel was halfway down the hall when he felt a hand grab at his sleeve.

“Can we talk for a minute?”  Sam asked breathlessly.  At first Gabriel didn’t say anything, clearly unsure what to say, blinking rapidly when Balthazar cleared his throat pointedly to remind his brother Sam was waiting on an answer.

“Sure, yeah.  What do you want to talk about?”  Gabe asked in a rush, brushing his hair out of his eyes distractedly.

“Um… can we do this somewhere more private, maybe?”  Sam asked quietly, glancing down the hallway at where Balthazar was leaning against the arch angel’s office door.  The angel raised an eyebrow at the human’s request but said nothing, letting himself into the Trickster’s office without another word. 

“Sure, let’s talk in the library.”  Gabriel suggested, letting out a small smile when Sam nodded in relief.   He would never tell Sam this, but he’d only suggested it because he knew that was where his companion would be more comfortable.  “So, what’s up kiddo?”

“I know I’ve been so… distant with you the last couple of days.  And I wanted to tell you why so you can stop walking on eggshells around me all the time.”  Sammy grinned nervously, absently rubbing at the back of his neck as Gabriel looked away. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”  Gabe sighed.  Leaning back against the edge of the table in the center of the room he locked eyes with the teenager, frowning.  “Look, I didn’t have to read your mind to know there’s not much in your life that anyone let you decide for yourself.  Azazel killed your mother leaving you to be raised by your overbearing father, who in turn sold you to me for a freaking weapon, and then there I was telling you when and for how long you could see your brother again.  I don’t blame you for being angry with me Sam, so don’t feel like you have to apologize.”

Sam didn’t say anything at first, blinking up at Gabriel like he’d just been stricken.  The archangel sighed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his sleeve. 

“Kid, I know your life’s been screwed six ways to Sunday and there’s never been a thing you could do but sit back and hang on for dear life while everything around you tried to wear you down.  But I promise you, soon that’ll be a thing of the past.”  Gabe said, smiling sadly when  Sam gave him a confused look. 

“What do you mean?”  Sam asked, raising an eyebrow when the angel said refused to respond.  Walking to the door he stopped, glancing back at the teenager sadly. 

“Nothing.  And thank you for finally speaking to me again.  I wasn’t trying to make things worse for you, but I can see now I probably did.  My being lonely was no reason to take you from your family, deal or no deal, even if you Dad is a massive psycho.  I should have just left you alone so you could stay with your brother.”  He sighed, Sam just catching sight of the tears that were starting to cling to the arch angel’s eyelashes before he looked away.  “Just… I’m sorry, Sam.  About everything.” 

Sam stood in the middle of the library long after Gabe left him alone, his heart throbbing in his throat.  The teenager breathed deeply, pacing back and forth from shelf to shelf. 

It wasn’t until he heard the familiar rustle of wings signaling the angel’s departure that he even realized his hand was outstretched to someone that was no longer there to take it.

 

******

 

Slightly wet.

If someone asked Castiel what his first impression of kissing Dean Winchester was like, that would have been his first descriptor. 

Swiftly followed by overwhelming, warm, and absolutely wonderful. 

As Dean pulled back from him, his pupils blown wide and breathing ragged, Castiel instinctively leaning forward trying to reconnect.  Grinning his charge pulled him closer, a hand pressed tight in the small of his back holding him tightly as their mouths pieced together again like fitting parts of a puzzle, the angel letting out a small, pleased sound as his hands slid up the hunter’s chest.  Without warning Castiel’s wings manifested, Dean instinctively reaching out to grasp one at the joint, his angel immediately letting out a shocked sound of pleasure as his feathers shook under the force of the emotions and sensations flooding his body.  Finally, after long moments of shared passion, Dean pulled back for air.  The hunter chuckled low in his throat, a hand reaching up to card his fingers through the angel’s hair lovingly as they sat and breathed in each other’s air.  For a moment, the angel allowed himself to bask in the sensation of his charge’s strange, physical affectionate gesture.  Then, just as suddenly as Dean reached up to cup his chin and pull his face back down for another kiss, Castiel snapped back into himself.

“Wait, Dean… I can’t do this.”  Cas said breathlessly, his bitter tone telling of his true wish to continue.  Unsure if he was serious or not, Dean licked his lips, his eyes imploring as they started up into the angel’s.

“Are there rules about this sort of thing for guardian angels?”  Dean asked, struggling to regulate his breathing.  His angel seemed to have a hard time focusing, his eyes locked onto his red, slightly swollen lips.  Unable to help himself he smirked, Castiel looking up into his eyes helplessly with want. 

“Well… no, not technically I suppose.”  Castiel said slowly, Dean raising an eyebrow at him.  His heart pounded against his ribs as he stared down his angel, unwilling to make another move until Cas elaborated.  “To my knowledge… nothing like this has ever occurred before.”

“Are you telling me there’s never been a human who wants something more with their guardian angel, or vice versa?”  Dean asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” Cas sighed, begrudgingly extricating himself from Dean’s embrace.  His wings trembling behind him were the only clue that he was feeling unsteady as he paced the motel room looking everywhere but at his charge still sitting on the floor.  “Guardians are meant to protect, nurture, and keep their charges on the correct path.  Since these things have nothing to do with romance or intimate relations…”

“Says who?”  Dean interrupted, Cas turning to look at him curiously.  The hunter blushed, but plowed ahead anyways.  “What if a romantic entanglement with you is what it takes to keep me going strong the way your Dad wants me to?”

“I think that’s a bit of a stretch of logic Dean.”  Castiel said with a small smile.  “Besides, I was under the impression that romantic bonds generally take some time to mature and come to fruition.  I’ve barely known you for a week.” 

“So?  Maybe I’m just exceptionally in tune with what I want.  Did you ever think of that?”  Dean asked, sighing when Castiel looked away from him clearly unconvinced.  “Look, I’m not saying I think I’m in love with you or anything like that.  You’re right, I haven’t known you long enough for something like that.  But I can say without a shadow of a doubt that kissing you right now was the best decision I’ve made in months, possibly years, and that I want to do it again so badly it hurts.  I’ve felt lust before, and this isn’t this.  This feels… different.  When I look at you, I want to hold you close just to feel you breathing against me.  I want to wake up and see you next to me.  I just know I want you in my life.”

“But why?”  Cas asked, turning to stare down at the flustered human at his feet.  Kneeling down he took Dean’s hands in his rubbing his knuckles soothingly with his thumbs.  “Why would you possibly want me in your life?” 

Dean looked up, swallowing.

“Because you feel like home.” 

 

 ******

 

“Maybe we should inform Castiel of our plan to move against Azazel.”

“For the last time Balth, no.”  Gabriel sighed, shaking his head as his brother muttered under his breath about the more the merrier.  “We’re not going to a party, we’re killing a demon.  Castiel has relatively little experience in that category compared to us.  Besides, it’s safest for Dean if he’s there with him instead of with us.  If Azazel gets away somehow and goes after the only Winchester he can get at easily, and Castiel can’t get there in time to save him…”

“Point taken.”  Balthazar said.  “I still think some back up wouldn’t be a bad idea though.”

“The more people we involve, the more likely it is that someone’s going to find out about our plan that will try and shut it down.  Do you really want someone like Zachariah to find out?”  Gabe asked, smirking when Balthazar shuddered.  “How about Uriel, or Raphael.  Oh, and seriously, think about how bad it would be if Michael found out.”

“Okay, I get what you’re saying.  It’s better if our numbers are small.  But I’m just going on record to say I think us going alone without at least brining Anna is a stupid decision on your part.  I’m sure she’d help us.”  Balthazar said, shaking his head when Gabriel pointedly ignored him.  “You do know this plan of mine isn’t full proof, right?  Something could still go wrong.”

“I know.  But it’s the best plan we’ve got.” 

“…Can we at least tell Sam what we’re up to?” 

“No.  He’d just worry, or worse, he’d give the gig away.  It’s better if he doesn’t know.”  Gabriel shrugged, checking to make sure he still had his arch angel blade attached to his belt.  “Alright.  Let’s tempt a demon out of hiding.”

 

******

 

Sam was in the middle of a rather interesting text on the Civil War when he heard footsteps in the hall heading towards him.  Looking up he set aside his book, eagerly rushing towards the door.  It had taken him a long, thoughtful hour or two to think through his feelings about everything that Gabriel had said, but in the end he knew he needed to talk to the arch angel. 

He needed to make sure that Gabe knew that he understood why he’d done what he’d done, and thank him for caring about him.  Even if he didn’t understand why, he could tell the Trickster cared. 

The door to the hall opened and Sam nearly passed out.

“Long time no see Sammy.”  Azazel grinned, his eyes flashing.

Sam screamed. 


	9. Sacrifices

“Where is he?”  Gabriel asked nervously, his wings outstretched and shaking behind him with nerves.  He turned to look at Balthazar, his eyes wide and his lips tight.  “I thought you said this would lure him out?”

“I thought it would.  What sort of demon doesn’t coming running when the location of an arch angel’s crash pad has been leaked to him by one of his minions?”  Balthazar asked, his hands tightening on his angel blade as his eyes continued to scan the horizon for Azazel.  “I went through a lot of trouble to break that demon, plan the information with a good cover story, and then wipe his mind so he forgot he ever saw either of us.”

“Wait.  You didn’t give that demon the real location of my pad, did you?  Just the general area, right?”  Gabriel asked, his heart skipping a beat when Balthazar turned to give him a strange look.

“Of course I gave him the real address.  He might have been able to pick apart his minion’s brain otherwise if he pressed too hard, you know that.”  Balthazar said, shrugging off the increasingly panicked way Gabriel was staring at him.  “What does it matter?  We’re going to kill him anyways.  And besides, no one can find your apartment that hasn’t been there before.”

Gabriel said nothing, the air between them going icy.

“You aren’t seriously telling me that this… this yellow eyed monstrosity has been to your home before?” 

“No, I never brought him there.”  Gabriel said, Balthazar calming down considerably.  “I just… neglected to mention a hole in my security system.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

“He knows the coordinates now, and if he latches on to Sammy’s aura, even though he’s never been there before…”

“He’ll be able to pop right inside without any issues, won’t he?”

“Yes.”  Gabe sighed, standing up.  “So basically, this stake out is a waste.  We need to get back to my place before…”

“What?”  Balthazar asked, his own wings fluttering nervously as he caught sight of the truly panicked look spreading across his brother’s face.  “What is it?”

“Sam.  He’s in trouble.” 

 

******

 

It was like his worst nightmare was finally coming true.

Sam jerked to a stop, grasping the edge of the table beside him for stability.  Azazel watched him with interest, a sneer curling his upper lip as he started towards the terrified teenager.  Stumbling, Sam moved to keep the table between them, knowing in the back of his mind that there was nothing he could do to stop whatever this demon wanted from happening.  He was alone and weaponless against the _thing_ that had killed his mother. 

“How’ve you been Sammy?  Missing your mother?”  The demon asked, chuckling when Sam’s face turned bright red with anger.  “Oh, you’re not still mad about that little incident are you?”

Sam didn’t respond, carefully shadowing every move the demon made.  He might not have thought there was anything he could do to keep himself safe, but there was no way he was going to make himself any easy target either. 

Suddenly, he blinked and the demon was gone. 

Sam didn’t stop to think – as soon as Azazel disappeared, he bolted out of the room and down the hall into the kitchen to look for some kind of knife to use as a weapon.  His hands shook as they opened drawers, finally landing on a large meat cleaver in one of the drawers by the stove.  Holding it tightly Sam turned to survey the empty room, his heart pounding in his chest.  He might not have been as experienced at dealing with things that go bump in the night as his father or Dean, but he knew there was no way a demon like Azazel would pop in to say hello and then leave him alive.  He knew he should find somewhere to hide, a place that was more defensible than the open floor plan on the kitchen.  He wasn’t sure why he thought it would be a good place to hide, but without another thought Sam pelted down the hall towards Gabriel’s office door. 

His fingers, outstretched and shaking, barely touched the door handle before he was being dragged backwards and thrown into the wall.  As the cleaver fell from his hand, he turned to stare into the bright yellow eyes piercing through him and did the only other thing he could think of. 

“Gabriel!”

 

******

 

Castiel didn’t know what to say. 

Looking down at Dean’s nervous face, into his eyes, into his very soul, the angel found himself without words.  There was fear dimming Dean’s light, a nagging nervousness that when Cas prodded at it opened to reveal the hunter’s worry that he would never be good enough to deserve love – not from a normal human, and certainly not from an angel.  There was also worry that his father would hurt him, that if he found out he wanted to be with a man – or an angel with a male vessel – that his father might abandon him completely, or worse.  But more than anything, more than any worries or fear or doubts, there was the overwhelming belief flooding through his body and flaming his soul making it burn brighter than it ever had in Castiel’s presence. 

A belief in love.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”  Dean looked up in shock, a small smile spreading over his face.  In all honestly, Castiel wasn’t sure why he asked when he could see inside Dean’s very soul.  He just felt, more than seeing into someone’s mind, that this was something he needed to hear said aloud. 

“Would I have kissed you if I didn’t?”  Dean asked, pulling his hands from the angel’s so that he could hold Castiel’s face between them.  “This is what I want Cas, I promise.  I don’t know why, and I don’t know if this is just for now or if it’ll work out, but it’s what I want.  I can feel it in my gut.”

“I thought humans felt things with their hearts?”  Castiel asked, Dean trying to suppress his laughter.

“We do.  The gut thing is an expression, I didn’t mean it seriously.”  He said, his smile slipping into a frown as the angel looked away from him. 

“I see.  So it’s just another thing on the long list of many things about humanity that I do not understand.”  Castiel said softly, taking a deep breath to steady himself.  Dean, I know nothing about human relationships other than what I’ve observed, and as I told you before, my fellow angels for the most part want nothing to do with me.  I think… I might be a bad choice.  No matter how much I care about you, if I get reassigned, I’ll have to leave you, and then in the best case scenario I’d barely get to see you if at all.  You deserve someone better equipped to fill your needs and understand your feelings on a human level.  You deserve so much more than I can give you.”   

“And you said I had a thing for selling myself short.”  Dean sighed, ruffling his angel’s hair.  “Look, what I deserve doesn’t matter nearly as much as what I want.  And I want you.  All I need to know is whether you want this to.  If so, then I say we try.  We might fail, yes, but we also might be great for each other.  If you don’t want this, want me… well, I won’t mention it again.” 

Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t, his eyes whipping upwards towards the ceiling as though he’d caught sight of something.  Pulling himself generally away from Dean he  stood up, his wings standing straight out behind him at attention poised for flight.

“What’s wrong?”  Dean asked, pulling himself to his feet.

“It’s your brother.  I think he’s in danger.”  Castiel said, reaching inside his coat for his angel blade.  When he looked back up it to was find his charge loading shells into a shot gun.  “What are you doing?”

“You’re taking me to Sam, obviously.  I’ve got to save my brother.”  Dean said quickly, shoving past the angel to get more weapons off the table. 

“I can’t do that.”

“What did you just say?”  Dean asked, turning to stare at his angel in disbelief.  Castiel wasn’t looking at him, his eyes still fixed nervously on the ceiling.  “Why?”

“I would be putting you directly in the line of danger.  It would be against my vows as a guardian to take you anywhere where there is immediate danger.”  He responded, his grip shifting on his blade.  “You stay here.  I’ll go take care of Sam.  If I don’t make it back…”

“Don’t say things like that.”  Dean interrupted, his face going pale at the very thought.  “Of course you’ll come back.”

“But if I don’t.”  Castiel said, finally turning to look at his charge again.  Before Dean was entirely sure what was going on, Castiel was pressing against him pushing him back until his hips hit the table, the angel claiming his mouth in a truly desperate, affectionate kiss.  As he pulled back, Dean could see tears in Castiel’s eyes again.  “If I don’t come back, I want you to know that I’ve never wanted anything more than to love you, and I would have been honored to have been able to call you mine.”

As Castiel let go, the edges of his wings starting to fade out as he started to disappear, Dean impulsively grabbed onto the hem of his coat and hung on tight.

 

******

 

One minute Sam was staring down the yellow-eyed demon that had ruined any sense of normalcy his life ever had any chance of having, and he was watching Gabriel in all his holy arch angel glory dragging Azazel down the hall, a strange silver blade clutched in his hand.  He was about to run after him when Balthazar caught him by the shoulders and pulled him back towards the office, opening the door and shoving him inside.

“Stay here, alright Sam?  Gabe will absolutely kill me if anything happens to you, understand?”  Balthazar asked, giving the teenager a stern look when he tried to shove passed him.  “Stop that, will you?  We’re trying to save your life.”

“Get after that damn demon then.”

“Dean?”  Sam ducked under Balthazar’s arm, the other angel turning to give the newest arrivals a look of surprise.  Dean darted down the hallway to hug his brother, Castiel watching them with a mixed look of admiration and annoyance.  Both angels turned to look down the hall as a particularly loud crash sounded from another room.  “What are you doing here?”

“Do you think you can keep the human children situation under control?”  Balthazar asked, Castiel nodding.  The other angel hurried off down the hallway after Gabriel and Azazel, his blade held rightly in his hand at the ready. 

“Cas said you were in danger and came to keep you safe.  I grabbed his coat so he couldn’t leave me behind.”  Dean said proudly, Sam rolling his eyes at his brother’s antics. 

“Yes, which will more than likely make me lose my job.”  Castiel said sternly.  Dean had enough sense to look sheepish, slyly taking a hold of the angel’s hand.  It cooled his slight anger into vague frustration, a small smile curling at the corners of his lips.  “We can worry about that later.  Dean, take your brother into the office and hide.  I’ll stay out here and guard the door.”

“The hell you will!”  Dean snapped, Cas raising his eyebrows at him in shock.  The hunter pointed at his brother, a stern look on his face.  “Get Sammy out of here.  I’ll stay here and cover you until you can come back for me.”

“That is out of the question.”  Cas said softly, his eyebrows knitting together.  “I cannot leave you in danger’s way.  I can take you both back to Earth, right now, if that’s what you want.”

“Do I get any say in this?”  Sam asked, both of them turning to look at him angrily. 

“No, you don’t.”

“Not on your life.”

Sam was about to make a snappy retort, but the words stuck in his throat as they were all through backwards as something large and cursing collided with them.

“Damn that bastard.”  Balthazar grumbled, hissing as Dean’s elbow flailed back and caught him in the ribs.  “Cassy, control your pet.”

“Hey, this dog bites. Watch it jackass.”  Dean snapped back, Castiel raising a hand to silence his brother when he opened his mouth to retort.

“Where’s Gabriel?”  Sam asked, scrambling out from beneath his brother.

“Well, it’s hard to say.  Somewhere between Nigeria and the South Pole by now, I’d imagine.”  Balthazar shrugged, brushing himself off as he rose to his feet.  Behind him Castiel carefully helped Dean to his feet, the pair of them giving each other a long, meaningful look that didn’t go unnoticed by either of their brothers.  The pair turned away quickly, both of them pink in the face.  “As soon as he got here, Gabriel popped the demon out of here and out onto Earth again.  They’ve been fighting and popping in and out of this plane of existence ever since.  We were somewhere in rural China when Azazel managed to kick me off in the middle of a jump.  That’s how I ended up back here bowling into you lot.”

Before anyone could say a word in response, Gabriel popped up behind them.  Grabbing Sam rushed off towards the library, the others watching stunned for a moment before following. 

“What are you doing Gabe?”  Sam asked as the archangel flung the table through the air so that it crashed against the wall with the wave of his hand. 

“This is the only thing I know that can stop him once and for all.  It’s not my best plan, but hey, I’ve certainly had worse.  Like assisted kidnapping, or human trafficking, who cares about accuracy at a time like this?”  Gabe smiled.  Sam nodded back at him, worry creasing his forehead at the thinness of the Trickster’s smile.  “Sam, do you trust me?”

“What?”  Sam asked, blinking back at him in confusion. 

“What is this, _Aladdin_?”  Dean muttered to Cas, rolling his eyes when the angel gave him a confused look.  “Never mind.  But seriously, remind me to sit you down for a Disney marathon when we get back home.”   

“Do you trust me?”  Gabe asked, a genuine smile spreading acorss his face when the teenager nodded.  “Good.  Stand right there and don’t move.  When I tell you to, drop to the floor and roll towards the wall, alright?”

“Okay.”  Sam nodded, watching as Gabriel materialized a knife to cut his arm.

“Brother, are you doing what I think you are?”  Castiel asked, rushing forward to where Gabe stood drawing on the walls in his own blood.  Without turning to look at him the arch angel nodded, Castiel shooting a petrified look back at Balthazar.  “Are you sure about this?  It’s risky, it might not work.”

“I know.  But it’s the only chance we have to finish this once and for all.”  Gabe sighed.  He moved on to a clear stretch of wall and started drawing more symbols, stopping only to smile sideways a second later as Castiel rolled up the arm of his trench coat, cut his own arm, and went to work helping him.

“Hate to be a buzz kill, but you know this’ll only work if you have Azazel’s blood, don’t you?”  Balthazar asked, raising an eyebrow at Gabriel when he nodded and continued with his work.  “And you just happen to have some on you then, do you?”

“I gave him a nasty cut right after he kicked you back here.”  Gabe said quickly, reaching into his pocket to pull out a handkerchief still thick and dripping with blood.  “Balthazar, would you do the honors?”

“You know what happens if you bind your life forces together and then do what foolish, reckless thing I’m sure you’re considering doing?”  He retorted, looking away in anger when his brother nodded at once.  “Your funeral, mate.” 

Balthazar sighed, grabbing his brother’s arm.  As he started to chant in enochian, Castiel finished up the last of the sigils before rushing over to where Dean and Sam stood. 

“Dean, I know you’re worried about your brother, but this would work better if you let Castiel take you back to Earth.”  Gabriel said, wincing slightly as Balthazar started cutting a mark into the flesh of his inner arm.  They locked eyes, neither one of them wanting to be the one to budge.  “Look, if this plan works, you and your family will never have to deal with the yellow-eyed demon ever again.”

“Take him home Cas.”  Sam said, Dean turning around just in time to see his brother’s stoic, determined face as his guardian angel grabbed him and transported him back to his motel room.

“Do you want me to stay for this brother?”  Balthazar asked quietly, Gabriel shaking his head.

“Go in the office and wait there.  Someone’ll need to get Sam home after this is over.”  Gabriel said, the pair of them sharing a long look before Balthazar finally turned and left the room.  “Sam?”

“Yes Gabe?”

“I just want you to know… I’m sorry about everything.”  Gabe said, tears springing up in his eyes when Sam turned to look at him, confusion clear on his face.  “Consider this last act an apology for everything.”

“What do you mean?”  Sam asked.

Gabriel never got a chance to answer.  A split second later, Azazel materialized back into the room, his hands ablaze with fire as he started towards Sam. 

“Sam, NOW!”

Sam dropped to his stomach, rolling away as fast as he could.  He looked up just in time to see Gabriel shoot him a sad look before the arch angel broke the glass out of the window, one hand holding tightly onto the demon’s hair pulling him out of the window and into space.  A second later, Balthazar popped into the room and grabbed him, transporting him back to Earth before he could even yell out.

When he fell to his knees a second later in Dean’s motel room, he screamed for Gabe.   


	10. A Letter from Stanford

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies! This was written and waiting to be uploaded, but after the finishing touches last night my internet crapped out and I had to wait until now to fiddle with the box and get it working again.
> 
> Welp, this is the end. I hope you liked this little story, and that you enjoyed the ride. Until next time, happy reading :)

Dean sighed, rubbing at his forehead as he looked over the mile long list of school supplies gripped in his hands. 

After prying what had happened to Gabriel out of his brother, he’d spend the night comforting his little brother and his angel, trying to stay stoic as both of them cried over the loss of an arch angel he’d only met once or twice.  Castiel had demanded both of them get some sleep after a few hours had passed, crawling into bed with the pair of them to keep them company and watch them while they slept just to make sure they were safe.  When John Winchester had gotten back from his hunt, it was to find his sons both asleep in bed clutching onto each other like they were afraid to let go and a tousle-haired man in a trench coat curled around his eldest son’s back Dean was the only home he’d ever known. 

It was hard to say who’d been more surprise when Dean woke up to find his father sitting across from his bed watching him closely.  After the fact, Dean was pretty impressed that his dad had listened to his whole ‘I have something to tell you about myself’ speech before he started screaming.  It took Castiel about three seconds to wake up and release his wings, crouched in front of Dean with his blade in hand ready for a fight.  Sam fell out of bed, took one look at his Dad as he stepped towards him, and started to cry all over again.  It hadn’t been very hard after that fiasco to convince his dad that it might be in everyone’s best interests for John to let Dean and Sam live on their own from now on. 

Three weeks later, and Dean finally felt like things were starting to look up. 

“How’s he doing?”

“Better than he was.”  Dean sighed, grinning slightly when Castiel kissed him on the back of his neck before sitting down beside him on the couch.  “At least now he’s using coherent sentences.  Mostly.” 

“Will he be alright to start school next week?”  Castiel asked, turning to stare at the lump in the bed that was Sam.  “If he doesn’t keep his grade point average up, he won’t be ready to apply for colleges when the time comes.”

“I know Cas, I know.  What else am I supposed to do though?  Between work at the garage with Bobby and hunting cases around the tri-state area… I haven’t been around here as much as I’d like.”  Dean looked sadly over at his sleeping brother, turning away to reach for the bottle of whiskey he’d been flavoring his morning coffee since he’d stopped living with his father and decided to get Sammy back on the right path to having the normal life he’d always wanted.  “I’m doing the best I can for him.”

Cas opened his mouth to reply, Dean throwing out a hand to silence him as Sam flipped over blinking blearily at the pair of them.

“Morning Dean.” 

He had to admit, watching his scrawny , gangly moose of a brother crawl out of bed to ask him for a cup of coffee and the morning paper, it was worth all the doubt and worry in the world to see even the faint makings of a smile on his little brother’s face.  Things would go back to normal in no time, he imagined.  After all, they’d dealt with grief before, and he knew they would again.

Sam would learn, Dean knew, to live his life without Gabriel in in. 

 

******

 

_Two years later…_

“Cas, have you seen Sam this morning?”  Dean asked, cursing under his breath as the angel shook his head.  For a minute, Castiel didn’t look up from the pancakes he was meticulously cooking on the stove top, but when Dean didn’t say anything else he finally looked up.  When his eyes caught on the white envelope clutched his in lover’s hands, he nearly dropped his frying pan on the floor.

“Did you open it?”  Cas asked, quickly turning off the stove and hurrying over to Dean’s side.

“No, I didn’t have the heart to.  After all, it’d kind of ruin it if I brought Sam an opened letter from Stanford – it’d ruin the surprise.”  He said, carefully setting the letter down on Sam’s breakfast plate.  Wrapping arms around Castiel’s waist he placed a kiss to his forehead, smiling into the angel’s shoulder as they both stared down at the unopened letter.  “Besides, what if it’s a rejection letter?  I don’t think I’d be able to keep a straight face for long if I knew the outcome.” 

“Do you really think he might have been rejected?”  Castiel asked, frowning slightly when Dean shrugged.  “He’s gotten acceptance letters from ten other schools.  If, perchance, he gets rejected from Stanford, he has plenty of other options.”

“Can’t… can’t you do that angel GPS thing and track him down?”  Dean asked, nipping at the angel’s neck appreciatively when he nodded. 

 

******

 

“Hey Gabriel, long time no see.”

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair as he settled on his favorite park bench.  Every day on his way home from high school, he’d take a seat and stop to think, even if it was just for a few minutes.  Sometimes, when he got a chance between working and taking the SATs, he stopped by the park in the mornings when everything was quiet and calm to sit and talk to Gabriel.

It didn’t matter so much to Sam that he’d seen the arch angel die – just that if somehow the Trickster could listen, he was going to keep talking until he found way to answer.

“I don’t know if you remembered, but my last letter should be showing up soon.  It’s the important one – the one from Stanford.  Dean’s trying to act like he isn’t worried, but I can tell he’s been on edge ever since the last letter from Penn state showed up.” 

Sam fell quiet, smiling at the older woman with her prissy dog that walked by on their usual path.  She smiled at him like always before heading on her way, Sam staying quiet until her footfalls had faded into silence.

“It’s gonna be hard going off to school, you know?  Ever since you… saved my life, it’s been just me, Dean, and Castiel.  Sometimes I wish you could be there to watch them together, it’s really something.  There are days I’m not sure how it works, to be honest, but it’s clear they love each other.”

He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, but didn’t reach for it just yet.  Even if it was just another few minutes he wanted this clarity, this easy moment, to last for as long as possible. 

“Anyway, I just wanted to say… I miss you, and thank you so much for everything.  You didn’t have to save me like you did, but you did… so, thanks.”

When he stood up, it was to find Gabriel standing right behind him with tears clinging to his eyelashes and a smile on his face.

“There’s no reason to thank me.” 

Sam didn’t even hesitate to run to him, the arch angel opening his arms with a pleased laugh as the young hunter fell into them knocking them both down onto the grass. 

“How?  You were dead!”  Sam asked, sitting up to stare down at the very warm and breathing Trickster lying beneath him.  Sam’s shaggy hair – the hair Dean was perpetually grumbling at him that needed to be cut – fell between them like a curtain throwing shadows through the sunlight spread over the arch angel’s face.  For a moment all they could do was stare at each other.  As Gabriel’s smile widened, the hunter’s grin slipped into a frown.  “Why haven’t you come to me before now?  How long have you been hiding?”

“If you can hurdling through time and space ‘hiding’, then since I flung myself out of my apartment after chaining my life to a very angry, dying demon.”  Gabe said, raising an eyebrow when Sam immediately went calm again.  “I would have come back if I it hadn’t meant risking your life.  I couldn’t come back until I was sure I’d found a way to leave him behind, permanently.  That, and I had to find a way to break the ties I’d created between us in the first place.  I only just figured out how to severe them without killing us both yesterday.”

“Why didn’t you come by yesterday then?”  Sam asked, smiling when Gabriel gave him an amused look.

“I did.” Sam raised an eyebrow, blushing slightly when Gabriel reached up under him and tucked his hair back behind his ear.  “You were asleep, and it felt wrong to wake you.  Besides, I figured I could just come back when you were awake.  I know how much you like to talk to me.”

“You heard me?  Even while you were tumbling through time and space chained to Azazel?”  Sam asked, his breathing shifting when the angel nodded.  Suddenly, he felt self-conscious.  “You heard… everything?”

“Everything.”  Gabriel smiled.  Carefully he sat up, cradling Sam close to his chest.  “Even the part about six months ago where you told me if you didn’t know any better, you’d accuse yourself of having fallen in love with the mere memory of me.  Oh, and that little bit about how if I ever found a way to come back, you hoped to hear me tell you that I felt the same way.  Now that you’re officially of legal age, by the way, this might just be your answer.”

“Oh.”

When Castiel showed up a minute later with Dean in tow, the unopened letter from Stanford left forgotten on the table, it was to find Sam and Gabriel sharing their first kiss of many. 


End file.
